All of my life, I was raised in a traditional Jewish family who treasures the concept of traditions and values and not so much organized religion. Those values have been passed down through the generations of wonderful Jewish women in my family. As Jewish women (now that we have been bat mitzvahed), our goal in life is to find an NJB (Nice Jewish Boy) who we would then date and, in time, marry!
Growing up, my mom always told me “Go to school and get educated, first and foremost!” Hi, my name is Ilona Ruvinova (No, I am not Spanish or Russian) and my family comes from a sector of the world where marriage at a young age was sort of a norm. When we came to America, that concept and value were thrown out the window the day we landed on American soil on September 28, 2001.
Through middle school and high school, I dated. I dated, but I wasn’t really serious about any of them, per se, because they didn’t last very long; so my parents didn’t really think anything of it, the guys I dated could’ve been Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, heck even Atheist for that matter. His faith only mattered if it were a situation where I was serious about dating. I was young, I didn’t need to focus on marriage just yet so I dated who I wanted.
I grew out of that stage, got more serious and started focusing on myself and my career. The very same day, I met him…
The man who caught my eye from the very first time I laid upon those crystal blue eyes. His luscious hair and the way he looked in uniform. McDonald's was where I found him. I worked there, as did he. Man, was it difficult to work when there was such a beautiful distraction working right next to me! I knew I had to know him, right then and there.
His name was John and no, he isn’t Jewish. Quite the contrary actually: a German, Irish, Italian, Polish (and just a dash of Russian), Christian boy, with blonde hair and the most crystal blue eyes I’ve ever seen.
We ended up dating. Isn’t that great how things work out? But my family never approved simply because he wasn’t Jewish. Everything else was perfect about him. His love for me was unconditional, I wasn’t going to let go of something I was feeling for the first time in my life. Maybe I was feeling love? Love might be a difficult word to define, but the feeling was euphoric. He would treat me like a princess, our cute little coffee dates meant the world to me because I knew he was trying to make it work. It was difficult for us because he wasn’t Jewish and he made it all worth it. I loved him, still do and I always will. He did everything for me and my safety. I was always at cross-roads because I knew I wanted to marry him, but I simply couldn’t due to the faith difference.
Religion played an important part of marriage amongst the older generation. Why should it persist now? If you love something and it makes you happy, don’t let it go for some rule that tells you you’re not allowed. I am a firm believer in following my heart, whether it be with him or without - but for now, my heart is telling me he is my future; so here we go, into our future, defying all odds of us being together. Love is stronger than any barrier keeping two lovers apart. I found myself an NJB (my Nice Johnny Boy), and Lord knows I will never let something like religion come between our life. The rest is logistics you figure out as you go along, but never miss the opportunity to love the person you’re unconditionally, unequivocally in love with - especially just for some technicality.
