I would like to start this off by saying that asking for "permission" is a vast exaggeration.
I don't ask my boyfriend's permission to do anything, but other people seem to think that's what I do.
People are very quick to judge my situation without understanding the ins and outs of my actions and why I do them.
Asking his "permission" is an overstatement. I run my decisions, my problems, and my dilemmas by him. A lot of people take that as me asking him for his permission to say or do certain things. They think of it as a controlling situation that I need to escape from.
Those people are actually very wrong and I am more than happy to tell you why.
He's much better with decision making than I am.
I hate making decisions. It stresses me out to a level you wouldn't believe. He is much better with making choices much faster. He understands that in most cases I'm too overwhelmed to decide on something and he's calm enough to take the lead or help me figure it out.
I trust his judgment.
My boyfriend is one of the smartest people I know. He's good at calmly and rationally looking at a situation and determining the best outcome. He's also very good at seeing when a situation to turn sour fast. I on the other hand, am horribly indecisive and tend to make the wrong choices to make my life seem less boring. So I tend to run situations and decisions by him that I'm unsure about because I trust him.
Sometimes my choices affect him in some way.
In some cases, the things I ask him about will affect him or his life in some sort of way. Like if I am thinking of moving our plans around or I want to go home for a family gathering and I want him to come with me. It's much more practical to run it by him first before acting on anything.
He keeps what is best for me in mind.
My boyfriend always prefaces his responses with "I love you and this is what I feel is best for you." but he's always open to me not liking or listening to his answers. He just wants what's best for me but understands that he doesn't control me.
It helps to establish trust.
Asking his opinion on things or if he minds if I go out at 3 a.m. with my friends or shooting out a feeler text to see how he feels about me texting a guy friend is not about control. It's about trust. The more lines of communication we keep open, the better things are. He has no reason not to trust me because I tend to run 90% of my decisions by him (if not more) willingly.
It's a matter of respect.
I have a lot of respect for my boyfriend and for my relationship. So if I feel a little iffy about the plans my friends set up, I will run it by him. If he thinks it's probably not a good idea, I respect that. I'll let my friends know, "Hey, out of respect for my boyfriend, and how he feels, I think I'm going to sit this one out."
There's no shame in asking your significant other for "permission", or guidance, or whatever you call it as long as it's healthy and you're okay with it.
