So my roommate and I all came to college in different positions with boys. Having a boyfriend in college isn't easy especially when it becomes a distance relationship. I thought it would be a good idea to just get their perspective on boys since they are all in different situations. So I decided to interview each of them, to keep all of their identities anonymous I will use just the first letter of their name.
First there's T who likes to explore her options. She didn't come to college with a relationship and isn't really going out of her way to find one. She is just living her best college life and having fun.
Q: What makes you not want to be in a relationship?
A: "It's not that I don't want to be in a relationship it's just that I haven't found someone who wants the same thing as me."
Q: Was there a situation that made you not want to seek a relationship?
A: "With D I thought I was ready for a relationship but he lead me on and when things were starting to get serious he screwed me over and said he never felt a connection and stopped talking to me. So, it started to deteriorate my trust with guys."
Q: When do think you'll be ready to stop messing around with multiple guys?
A: "When I find someone who wants what I want and holds the same values as me."
Q: In the past month how many guys have you been with? Where do you find them?
A: "I've been with 5 and I find them on Tinder and the bar."
Q: What exactly are you looking for in a guy?
A: "Someone that is funny, balances me out, honest, loyal, trustworthy, and shares the same beliefs/values as I do."
Next there is me, I came to college with a "its complicated" relationship. He is in the marines so when I first got here we couldn't talk for three months and before he left things were messy and confusing. So, since we weren't really anything or official I still was seeking out other guys. He finally got to talk to me again and things were still complicated and we didn't really talk about what we are. So I continued to seek out other guys. He has to turn his phone in all the time so we barely get to talk so, things are still complicated. But, I found a guy that I could potentially like. Uh Oh!
Then there's F she broke up with her boyfriend a little while before college started. She was dating him for two years but they were at different spots in their life and she is just now starting to move on to C. It has been a rocky two months because she can't help but compare him to her past relationship because she thought she was going to get married to him.
Q: What made you end your past relationship?
A: "His parents were going through a divorce and lied to him about it and I just wanted what was best for him and he couldn't see it."
Q: How long did it take you to attempt to move on?
A: "9 months but still iffy on if I am actually ready to move on."
Q: Now that you've been in a long-term relationship what do you look for?
A: "Somebody who shares the same beliefs/values and enjoys doing the same things I like to do."
Q: Are you looking for something long-term?
A: "Yes"
Q: What makes you not want to be with C?
A: "I feel like he's not mature enough to be in the kind of relationship I want to be in."
Lastly, S has been dating the same guy for almost 2 years. They started their relationship senior year of high school but had been best friends for a while before that. S finally decided to give him a chance. They both decided to go to Kansas State University. He plays football here and she is an Art major.
Q: How do you think your college experience would be different if you didn't come to college with a boyfriend?
A: "I think I would be going out more and meeting new people."
Q: Did you choose K-State because he was coming here?
A: "HELL NO. I have always wanted to come to K-State because my mom went here and I wanted to get the hell out of Lawrence."
Q: Do you feel like you can't do certain things because you are in a relationship?
A: "Yes and no because in my relationship there's a respect factor. We both prefer to be with each other whether it's going out or staying in."
Q: Do you think college has had a positive or negative affect on your relationship?
A: "Positive because we live so close to each other so we can pretty much see each other whenever. Negative because since we're so close and can see each other all the time it stops me from doing certain things."
Q: Do you think him being an athlete affects your relationship? If so, how?
A: "Don't even get me started. Because his schedule is whack as fuck. During season he has to get up at 5 am and has tutoring till 10 pm so, when trying to hangout it gets difficult because it's late at night when he can hang and he gets tired and sleeps a lot. He is also always around the female athletes and has group chats with them."
All four of us are at very different spots in our lives but still all need advice on every little thing that comes up with the relationship. We all sit down and talk almost every night about all the struggles we're going through and seek out opinions from the others. If you get anything out of this take away that college is where you truly find yourself. Whether that is hooking up with people, figuring out what you want, finally be ready to move on, or coming with a relationship. You just need to do what is best for you.
