You had the perfect relationship and friendships, you had everything going for you, but you weren't happy. No one understood what you felt, no one understood what could make you happy, no one understood you. But you put everything at risk for someone or something that could make you happy for only a short amount of time. Well congrats, you did it. You lost everything and everyone for selfish reasons that no one understands but yourself.
You cheated on and lied to someone who loved you more than the world itself. You lost the most important person in your life over someone who won't be around for you in a year or so. Maybe if you wouldn't have lied, you two could have ended it on good terms, but sadly that didn't happen. The truth will never hurt as much as the exposure of a lie. You made her feel like she was doing something wrong. You made her think it was all her fault. You wanted to drag her along for the miserable ride. You wanted her around just in case this new person wasn't worth it. After two months of cheating, you continued to say, "I love you" like those words meant nothing to you, like you just defeated the meaning of love when you spoke them to someone who has been there for you through thick and thin. Someone who didn't know the truth about you, someone who deserved to know the truth when feelings developed with someone but her. A real man ends a relationship before he starts searching for a new one. You broke her heart into a million pieces and I cannot stress enough how much I have grown to dislike you. Over the past five years, you have been always in good terms in my mind, now you mean absolutely nothing to me. She deserves better. 10000x better than you. Well, once a cheater always a cheater am I right? I hope this new person will open her eyes and comprehend that you're not the person that you say you are.
I hope one day you will remember the person you used to be. Someone who was actually caring and considerate of others. Now, you turned into someone you aren't. You might say you can't see the "change" everyone else is seeing but it's there. Just look around you, who haven't you pushed away? Who haven't you ruined relationships with?
I hope she was worth it.