You know who you are.
I remember being a naive little 15 year old and thinking that I had everything figured out. I'm able to recognize, that even 4 years later, I still do not have everything figured out.
Then...you came along.
I fell in love with you pretty quick. I didn't know that love is patient. I didn't know that love should take time.
I wanted to give you the world.
However, you constantly picked material things over me. You constantly picked your friends over me. You even picked other girls over me.
This being my first "real relationship", I thought nothing of it. When my friends told me that you were being an asshole, I ignored it. I thought I loved you more than anything. I thought we'd get married. I thought you'd be my forever.
Eventually, your actions got the best of you, and I grew older and a little wiser, and I realized that nothing you were doing to me screamed that you "loved me". In fact, I realized quite the opposite.
You may have loved me, but you never showed it.
When I ended things, you realized what you lost. You lost a good girl who would've done anything for you. When you tried to make up for it, you didn't understand why I wasn't able to give you a second chance.
The fact is, it wasn't that I was scared to give you a second chance. I just wasn't stupid enough to put myself through a relationship with you all over again. I will never, and I mean never, subject myself to that kind of abuse ever again.
I will never subject myself to your lies again.
I used to hate you for how you affected me; however, as time has gone by, I've realized I got the hardest relationship of my life up and out of the way. I have moved on. I have healed. I have found myself in the nights where I cried wondering why I wasn't good enough for you. I have found myself in the mornings where I used to wish I'd wake up from a text from you. I have found myself growing stronger day by day, knowing that I will never let myself be in love like that again.
This isn't me closing my doors and not wearing my heart on my sleeve. This is me, protecting my heart, and only allowing people who actually deserve to see my emotions be shown them.
You taught me that love, no matter how much you think it will, doesn't always end in happily ever after. You taught me what love isn't supposed to look like. Thank you for teaching me that lesson early.
Thank you for making me a stronger person.
