Four years ago, my life changed forever. I never saw it coming, nor did I see the way that you would impact me. But you came into my life for the better, and made me realize how lucky I truly am.
In December of 2012, I thought I knew so much. I knew what kind of future I wanted to have for the most part, and I had so many dreams and aspirations that I wanted to accomplish. But one night a sickness came, and it stayed. It started like all other sicknesses, a simple sore throat and a temperature. I stayed in all weekend hoping the virus would go away, but it didn't. The entire week following I could barely eat or drink anything without throwing it back up, my throat was raw and inflamed, and I could barely walk from my room to the bathroom without becoming overwhelmed with exhaustion. I began taking regular doses of Ibuprofen, hoping that the drugs would help subside the pain I was in. And it did for the first two hours, but by the time my four hour limit came, I would pop two more. My parents took me to the doctor waiting for them to prescribe me a medication that would help me to get better. But they kept assuring us that it was a bad virus that would soon run it's course and fade away. And then the second week came, and the vomiting continued with the addition of a horrible rash that developed across my entire body. Once again we went to the doctor, but they still stood by their initial diagnosis of a bad virus that wouldn't stay for much longer. So I missed another week of school, and stayed at home watching TV all day. I still couldn't eat anything, and could feel the dehydration taking it's tool on my body as well. Finally, we went to the doctor a third time, and my parents insisted that my sickness was more than just a simple virus.
The nurse came in the room and took my blood pressure, and immediately rushed out of the room. The doctor came in quickly after and reported to my parents that due to my dehydration and dangerously low blood pressure, I should be taken to the ER. Once at the ER, the doctors ran blood tests to try and find the cause for my peculiar sickness. After an hour of waiting a nurse came in and told my parents that results from my blood test showed issues with my kidneys, which was caused by my consistent Ibuprofen intake.
For the next week I stayed in the hospital, and nobody knew what was wrong. The doctors drew blood every four hours, and pumped my body full of fluids in order to rehydrate. They pumped so much fluid, that a few days later fluids began seeping into my lungs, at which point I was transferred to a infectious disease doctor in the ICU at a Children's Hospital. When I arrived at ICU, I was completely isolated. My room was completely sealed and anyone who came in had to wear a mask and gloves with a bright yellow hospital gown on to protect their clothes. I felt so alone, and so mortified. I was extremely drugged up, but also extremely scared. I had no idea what was going on half the time nor if I was going to be okay. Within a few days in the ICU, I slowly began to get better. My kidney functions climbed back up to normal, my chest X-Rays came back normal, and they slowly drained the fluids out of my lungs so I could breathe properly. My throat no longer hurt and I no longer felt nauseous.
I was then transferred to a recovery center of the hospital, specially made for patients who are directly out of ICU. In my new room, I was extremely bored. My TV didn't work, I was still quite weak so I couldn't walk around much, and my phone only entertained me for a certain period of time. Finally, my designated physical therapist came in, and helped me to perform exercises in order to strengthen my muscular functions. During my physical therapy in the hallway, I walked by a room. Room 156. A young boy, who appeared to only be a few years younger than me, was in the bed while his parents sat in chairs next to his side, reading. He was the first person I had seen that was my age in the hospital, and it made me feel a sense of relief that I wasn't alone. I didn't end up meeting the boy until the next day. I was attempting to walk down the hall while wheeling my IV beside me. He popped out of nowhere and asked if he could join me. I was completely stunned and a little taken off guard. All I wanted to do was walk down the hall and get back to my room so I could watch TV and text my friends. But I could see the excitement and desperation in his eyes, and I instantly began to wonder how long he had been here.
We walked down the hall and back five times. The entire time we asked one another basic questions. Where we were from, how old we were, what school we went to, things we liked to do, etc. His name was Danny, he was 15, and he was from Aurora, Colorado. He was an only child and his birthday was two days before Halloween, which happened to be his favorite holiday. He loved to play lacrosse in the spring and summer, and was a total hockey fanatic during the winter. He had mocha colored eyes and told me that he used to have dark brown hair that he begged his mom to let him cut into a mullet during his last year of middle school because he thought it made him "look like a G". I found that part to be pretty funny.
Danny had started out the year before with stage three Leukemia. He was at lacrosse practice one day when he collapsed during a warm-up drill. The way he told the story was in a comedic light, but I the entire time he was telling me about it, I could feel my heart sink to the bottom of my chest.
"It came out of nowhere. At one point I was running down the field looking back to catch the ball, and then the next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital bed hooked up to all of these tubes and shit. And the thing that kinda freaked me out the most was when I woke up and looked around, the first thing I saw was a giant ass elephant poster and I totally thought I was in the zoo. And in my head I was like 'Oh hell yeah I love the freaking zoo' and then a second later I was like 'Wait why am I at the zoo and how the f*** did I get here' and then I saw my parents standing next to my bed crying and then I realized that I wasn't at the zoo...I wish I was at the zoo, dude."
The next day Danny came into my room and we spent the entire morning and afternoon drawing all over the paper menus that they had given us, with pens that Danny had taken from the nurses station. We talked about everything. From Christmas gifts we wanted to what we wanted to do with our lives after high school. Danny really wanted to go to school to play lacrosse. He said that he didn't care if the school was large or not, he was just so ready to be around people again. He was so ready to be able to run again, to suit up for a game and to practice with his teammates.
After dinner, I met Danny's mom and dad. They were two of the nicest, most gentle people I have ever met. They gave me a huge hug, and told me that they were so grateful Danny and I had sparked up a friendship. Danny's mom, Sherry, told me that he and I were the only teenagers on the floor, and that before I came along Danny had been the only teenager on the floor for the past two months. Most off the other occupied rooms on the floor were taken by newborns and toddlers, something I had noticed during our walks down the hall the day before.
The final day, I was in my room and was still fighting with the nurses about eating. Although I was feeling much better than the weeks before, I still didn't have much of an appetite. But the rule was that I could not get discharged until I had at least two meals at the hospital. So when Danny came in and heard that I was protesting eating, he got pissed at me. And then, he convinced me into ordering a massive burger with chocolate pudding, fries, yogurt, fruit, and cinnamon apples on the side. An hour later when it came I told him I still didn't want it, so he took a handful of fries and stabbed my mouth with them until I finally ate them. And an hour after that the entire meal was gone, mostly thanks to Danny because he ate half of my burger and the rest of my fries and fruit. But he made damn sure that I ate the cinnamon apples and the other half of the burger.
We sat there then, laughing and exchanging stupid stories about idiotic things we had done during school or with our friends, and then Danny turned completely white. He got up and ran to the trashcan and threw up the burger and fries he had just inhaled. I helped him back to his room with the trashcan in front of him, and his parents helped me get him into bed. I went back to my room, and the next day I was released from the hospital. On my way out I went to say bye to Danny, but he was still asleep in his bed. His parents both gave me a big hug and I gave them my phone number to give to Danny when he was feeling better. I assured them that I would come visit after Christmas, since I knew his friends didn't come around nearly as often anymore.
Nine days later I was sitting in my room when I received a text from Danny's mom. Danny's Leukemia had spread to his heart and he went into cardiac arrest the night before. The chemotherapy he was on had kept him alive a full year longer than they expected him to survive, and his parents were by his side the entire time. I cried myself to sleep every night for a week. I kept asking myself why it had gotten so bad so quick. I was completely dumfounded and confused, how one day he could be telling me stories and laughing on my bed, to just being gone days later.
I don't know why some things happen to us. I don't know why we get sick, I don't know why loved ones pass suddenly, and I don't know why tragic things happen to those who mean so much to us. I don't know why good people on this earth are taken from us and I don't know why cancer is one of the leading causes of death in this world. Here is what I do know: life is precious. Life is an incredible journey in which we discover so much. We discover our passions, we develop goals, and we encounter glorious new experiences. But the best part of this life, is the amazing people we meet along the way. In all stages and paths of life, we meet people who change us. Some for the better, and some for the worse. But we always learn something new from the people we meet. We learn more about friendship, happiness, and above all else, we learn about love. The people we meet and develop relationships with alter our souls. They touch us in ways that nothing else can, and they make us truly grateful to be who we are no matter the situation we are in.
Everyday I sit and wonder why I'm still here and Danny isn't. Everyday I think about the short period of time I knew Danny, but yet the incredibly powerful impact he had on me in that time. Danny taught me to appreciate life. He taught me to be thankful for every person, opportunity, ability, and dream I have. Through my relationship with Danny I developed a completely new outlook on life. I learned to be thankful for the little things, embrace positivity, reap happiness, and spread joy. I learned that pain is temporary, and that every moment in life is too precious to be wasted.
Four years I got sick, and I got better. Four years ago I met you, and four years ago my life was changed forever. I miss you everyday, and everyday I am so grateful to have met someone as loving, caring, and inspirational as you. Heaven is lucky to have you, Danny. You will always carry a special place in my heart.
