Hello,

I don't know what to call you honestly. I don't think calling you an ex is a good idea.

I'm so dumb right now that I actually have hope that maybe our story isn't over and if it actually is, I'll have to find a way to deal. As of right now, all I can do is cry because I once thought you were my forever. Looking back at it now, I guess forever doesn't always mean forever.

I wish there was a way for me to tell you how you made me feel before and after, but the only thing that comes to mind is that I still love you. I know it's dumb but I can't help it. You meant so much to me that being without you is something I'll have to get used to. It really is going to take a lot of time because there is a lot of damage that needs to be fixed. You made promises and I thought that meant something, but like everything else involving our relationship, I was wrong. I was wrong to think you weren't going to hurt me, I was wrong to think your promises meant something. I was wrong to think everything that I thought was going to happen between us would actually happen.

What sucks the must is that I actually saw a future with you. You don't seem to care at all that you hurt me, which is fine because one day you'll realize what a huge mistake you made. The only regret I have from our relationship is not realizing you never loved me in the first place. You only said you did to make me feel better. I thought you were different and you made yourself seem like you were. You should totally go to Hollywood and become an actor because you had me fooled for a while.

I don't mean to be a bitch honestly, because I do love you and I do care about you. I'm just hurt and broken. I hate having to sit in my room at night wondering what I did wrong. The night you left me hurt like hell. It was a struggle. I cried for hours. I had brief periods where I was able to calm down but then something would happen and I would start crying all over again. We had so many plans for our future. I know I have to erase all those plans and start over.

You're the lucky one in this situation. You don't have to worry about girls liking you or anything because you are attractive, whether you know it or not and you don't have to try in anything. I have to try to get boys' attention because I'm not a typical girl. Boys don't ever seem to like me so when I had you, I thought I was set.

The most insane part of all this...I was willing to change for you. I had a dream once about my wedding and you were standing at the alter waiting for me. When I woke up, I had the biggest smile on my face, but then again, that's when we were together.

I'm not writing this letter to make you feel bad for leaving me or to get revenge or to talk badly about you because I'm not that type of person. I'm not going to hit up your best friend and try to get with him because I want you to hurt just as badly as I am. I'm not going to pretend that I'm OK with everything, I'm basically writing this to thank you for all the memories I have. All the smiles you caused, all the laughs we shared, all the moments that made people wish they had a relationship like ours.

Thanks for a chapter in my life that I never thought would happen. It was a short-lived relationship, but it was a fun one. Maybe one day in the future, our paths will cross again and maybe they won't. Who knows, we could even try the friend thing if it comes to it. I'm not going to be heartless and put you on blast on every social media I have so people think you're a horrible person because you aren't a horrible person. You made me really happy at one point and I thank you for it.

With all that being said, thank you for everything and I wish you luck in everything you do. Maybe one day we can talk again as friends or whatever. Just know that I am always here for you if you need a friend or just want someone to talk to or need a shoulder to cry on. I will not shut you out of my life completely because there was a reason you were once a part of it. Sometimes history repeats itself and if ours does, that's fine; if not, that's cool, too.

I hope you find a girl who makes you as happy as you made me and who loves you unconditionally. I'm just sorry I couldn't make you happy enough. You're not a bad person and I don't blame you for leaving. It's something you needed to do and I understand. I'm not fully at piece with everything and it will take a while but I'll survive. I'm a strong person.

So again, thanks for the memories, I'll cherish them forever and I wish you luck with everything.