Looking for a new companion in your life, no matter how furry they happen to be? So are we. Without further ado, we present JASON AND RACHEL’S TOP 25 DOG BREEDS.*

*Written by Jason Pegis and Rachel Warren

25. Dachshunds

We would be remiss if there was no mention of these furry friends! Dachshunds are a protective and spirited breed, perfect for anyone who enjoys being ferociously led onward by a stubborn sausage with three-inch legs. Rating: 3.5 out of five tennis balls.

24. Irish Wolfhound

If you’re on the prowl for a massive, furry animal with a decent amount of energy, then visit your local Irish Wolfhound breeder (or call my ex-wife)! These gentle giants make remarkable pets, provided you feed and groom them well. They’re built like oversized, fuzzy Greyhounds but will provide excellent company to all members of your family. Rating: 3.5 out of five tennis balls.

23. Basset Hounds

If you like your pet to look remotely sad even when it’s thrilled to see you, then the Basset Hound is for you! But seriously, folks, these gentle souls are perfect companions for any family, are patient with everyone, and are even great snugglers for those long and lonesome autumn nights. Rating: 3.58 out of five tennis balls.

22. Beagles

This howlin’ breed will seduce you with its cute face and waggin’ tail just enough to get into your house and eat all of the food in your fridge. But my goodness is she cute! Who’s a cute little doggy? You’re a cute little doggy! Daaahhh you’re a cutie pup! Yeah! 3.62 out of five tennis balls.

21. Shetland Sheepdog

Have you ever wanted a pet that came in the color “blue-merle?” Even know what blue-merle is? Then the Shetland Sheepdog might be for you! These energetic hairy-marys are friendly, playful, and perfect for keeping all of your pesky sheep (or children) in line! 3.66 out of five tennis balls.

20. Boxer

Ignore the misleading name; these canines have a tendency to be loyal, gentle and sociable. With more intelligence than expected, Boxers are well-equipped for your home and family. But beware! Boxers are highly susceptible to seasonal flank alopecia, so make sure to feed yours plenty of omega fatty acids! 3.7 out of five balls.

19. St. Bernard

This drooly delight from the 1992 hit family-film Beethoven sure played his way right into our hearts! St. Bernards are great with kids and highly observant. If you plan on being buried in an avalanche any time soon, the St. Bernard is the right dog for you! 3.76 out of 5 balls.

18. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

The C.K.C.S. retains its majestic complexion naturally--no trimming or tampering required! If you desire a small canine companion that tends to be quiet and will become your family’s best buddy, you cannot go wrong with a Cavalier. Just remember to brush that thick, wavy fur! 3.81 out of 5 balls.

17. Shih Tzu

While this sweet and playful cutie certainly earned it’s spot on JASON AND RACHEL’S TOP 25 DOG BREEDS, its name causes quite the hullabaloo! But as any proud Shih-Tzu owner will tell you, it’s pronounced “SHEET-soo”. Really! We can’t make this shih-tup! 3.88 out of 5 balls.

16. Australian Terrier

These charming little blokes are the rulers of the terriers. Both an easy breed to care after and an energetic ball of fur, an Aussie Terrier will be a perfect choice if you’re looking for a pet to simply have fun with! 3.89 out of 5 balls.

15. Bichon Frise

Remember those cotton ball crafts you made in kindergarten? What if one came to life? Why, you’d have a Bichon Frise, of course! These curly poofs bring the fun to any home, especially with that Bichon “Blitz” of energy that will occur like clockwork whenever you have a visitor. Or enter your house. Or put on your shoes. 3.91 out of 5 balls.

14. Bloodhound

Do you want your best friend to be “sweet, easy-going, and friendly” according to the AKC? If not, perhaps looking for a human companion would be a better option. Known for their loose, saggy skin, these hounds from the pound will flop their way into your heart given the chance! Just be sure to keep them on a leash if you take them on a walk. 3.95 out of five balls.

13. Bernese Mountain Dogs

Go ahead and “Feel the Bern” with these presidential pups! Bernese Mountain Dogs are the democratic socialists of the dog world, sharing love and income equality with everyone they meet. Make sure to lock up your big banks and unreasonable college tuitions, though: these fiery furballs will tear them to shreds! 3.98 out of five balls.

12. Newfoundland

Did a black bear just eat a labrador? No silly, these massive ground-yetis are a breed recognized by the AKC since 1886. They’re calm, well-mannered, and very loyal to their less grizzly-looking companions. Due to their massive size and muscular build, they’re often used as lifesaving dogs to rescue swimmers from drowning. What have you done as a dog recently? 4.01 out of five balls.

11. Australian Shepherd

If you’ve ever wanted a collage for a pet, look no further! These platapodes of the dog world are loyal, trustworthy, and absolutely wild at bachelorette parties. Plus, think of all the money you’ll save on actual shepherds! It’s a win/win/win/win situation. 4.138 out of 5 balls.

10. Malamute

Do you ever find yourself lying awake at night, slightly chilly, wishing supersized Huskies exist? Who cares about a spouse, just have one of those snuggle-buddies hop into your bed and you’re set for a winter in Siberia. These sled-dogs are affectionate, loyal, playful, but also dignified, like a slightly pretentious lover. They’ve also been known to attack snowmen. It’s mostly a patriarchy thing. Why not snow women? Are their brittle little bodies too weak for snow? Malamutes are warriors of gender equality. 4.29 out of five balls.

9. Golden Doodle

Also known as “groodles,” these curly friends make a “grood” companion to anyone looking for the loyalty of the Golden Retriever mixed with the grooming fun of the poodle! Energetic, friendly, and cute to boot, this great hybrid breed is a perfect pup for any family. 4.36 out of five balls.

8. Border Collie

The Border Collie is the mad scientist of the dog world. They’re incredibly smart, and incredibly energetic. Although they’re commonly used as agility dogs due to these traits, you certainly won’t have to jump through hoops to get your hands on one of these pups! If you’re looking for a dog that will get you in shape, look no further. Here’s a challenge: attach a pedometer to your Border Collie and yourself. Go to the dog park. If you get more miles in than your pet, we will personally come to your house and give you a ribbon.

7. Shiba Inu

Find yourself getting stuck in things often? Looking for a companion to stay cheerful while you find your way through the thick of it? We’re always here to lend a hand, but if we’re busy, maybe you should try out a Shiba Inu! These curious, springy-tailed puppies are perfect for the daring adventurer in all of us. Climb a mountain with your shiba and they’ll smile along with you every step of the way! Wow! 4.5 out of five balls.

6. Flat-Coated Retriever

You probably have not heard of these spectacular canines. These are just black Golden Retrievers that do slightly better in water. It’s true! Everything you love about their brighter relatives remains the same with these excellent dogs. We really can’t say much more. Adopt one of these dogs. Seriously. You won’t regret it. 4.649 out of 5 balls.

5. German Shepherd

Ask anyone who has ever been in a dystopian, post-apocalyptic society and they’ll tell you: a German Shepherd is the perfect friend ‘til the end. Whether you’re playing fetch in the park, snuggling down for a long weekend of Fallout 4, or dangling by your ankle while the sun lowers dangerously toward the horizon and the hoard draws ever-nearer, these loyal and protective pooches will stay by your side. 4.65 out of five balls.

4. Siberian Husky

Are you being suffocated, asphyxiated, or utterly crushed by your malamute? It might be time to downsize. These gorgeous dogs are loyal, hardworking, energetic, and quite soft. Really, really quite soft. That is a soft dog. 4.76 out of five balls.

3. Corgi

All tiny legs and giant ears, these stub-tailed enchanters will bounce straight into your hea--wait, where are their tails? What happened to the tails?!? WHO DID THIS TO YOU?! SWEET GOD IN HEAVEN WHY!? WHY!? 4.88 out of 5 balls.

2. Labrador

Chocolate...black...yellow...but while it is important to monitor your stool colors as indicators of digestive health, you should know that there are also a variety of Labrador colors. Labs have consistently rated as the number one most popular dog breed in the United States for many years. They are gentle enough to be a member of any family, strong enough to hunt, loyal enough to love you forever, friendly enough to happily greet new humans and canines...is there anything this breed can’t do? Oh yeah, it sure can’t beat our number one contender! 4.95 out of five balls.

1. Golden Retriever

Chuck Norris once challenged a Golden Retriever to a death match, but he backed out when the Golden Retriever accepted and was fully favored to win on Twitter. A Golden Retriever once rescued me from the deep end of the pool, dragged me to the pavement, performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and perfectly executed CPR to the beat of “Stayin’ Alive” by the BeeGees. A Golden Retriever rode off into the sunset with my wife but, surprisingly, I was ok with it. And then, 25 years later, it came back and taught me it was ok to love again. Golden Retrievers are rumored to decide on each year’s Nobel Peace Prize recipient. In 1894, a Golden Retriever gave a young scientist his first lessons in physics; a scientist that would go on to become one of the most important and influential figures in history, developing the Theory of Relativity. That young scientist was a Golden Retriever. In a single concert in 1992, A Golden Retriever performed all five Mozart violin concertos with the Berlin Philharmonic. It was done entirely from memory and on the double bass. Five out of five balls.