I’ve made a sincere effort to like you -- truly, I have. The thing is that I probably don’t. It’s not you -- I’m sure you’re a great person and I raised my sister to know better than to love someone who doesn't deserve her. The problem is that I’m never going to think you deserve her. You could be the prince or princess of England, a wealthy business person, a poor teacher with a heart of gold -- I don’t really care. I wish I could tell you that I’m sorry about it, but I’m honestly not. I had a pretty big hand in raising that little girl and turning her into the amazing woman I know she’ll be. If she loves you enough to want to spend the rest of her life with you, then that’s going to have to be good enough for me.
There are most definitely some things you need to know before you take that trip down the aisle, though. The main thing is that you are not her sun. She does not revolve around you. I’m sure you’ve already figured that out, but I’ll always be here to remind the both of you. From the time she could talk, I have known that she is the most passionate and fiery person I will ever have the pleasure of knowing. Do not (and do not let her) stifle that, because there will be times when that passion and fire overwhelm you, and that’s OK.
She has been through a lot. The most important thing you can do for her when she is upset is to make sure she knows that you are there for her -- that you will always be there for her. Actually, the most important thing you can do is not give her a reason to be upset, but we all know that’s inevitable. You must promise that you will never intentionally hurt her. You will never lie to her or cheat on her. I’m not a violent person, but I will be if I have to be.
She is your equal in all respects. I promise you that she will not stand for being treated like anything less. I’ve taught her better than that. She is not going to ask you for muc, just that she be treated with the respect and dignity every person deserves. She’s also going to ask you for a dog. Get her one. There are going to be times when she will think that she is the center of your universe. It’s not her fault; it’s in her nature. You have to tell her that she is not, but that she is a bright, shining star in the vast expanse of space, that she is the star you always look to. You are not her sun, and therefore she is not yours. That’s not how a healthy relationship works. She has seen enough unhealthy ones to have her ideals altered by them. Show her how a relationship should be.
If you should decide to have children, make sure she knows that she is a good mother because she will be unsure and unsteady. When she finds her footing, though, she will be the best mother. I cannot and do not envision a future where she is anything less than extraordinary in every endeavor. Help her to see that she is amazing and can do anything she sets her mind to. Be kind to her, always. The little girl I helped raise is in your hands now. Do not hurt her.
