At one point in time everyone has probably asked themselves, "Is this normal?" What is normal though, and where does it come from?
Gender roles have always been established within our everyday lives, but why? Why does one gender get to do what another does not? Is testosterone really the decider in what you're capable of? Are gender norms biological or culture created?
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Sex differences are the biological differences we use to identify someone's gender identity from the moment they are born. What we do not question though, is where do these gender norms come from, and how do they affect societies view on how men and women should be? Some people will argue science till the end of time, but I beg to differ.
Culture claims men are aggressive and dominant, because of the presence of testosterone in their bodies. When men possess feminine traits they are seen as weak, simply because women lack high testosterone levels. Biology may play a role in hormonal differences, but I believe you are heavily influenced by society with the idea of what is normal. Nothing makes me cringe like someone saying, "Sit like a lady" or "Act like a man." Masculinity and femininity are gender norms assigned by the close minded culture we live in, yep I said it.
The gender norms of men being the more powerful sex creates a sexist view in society. The sexist view that women can't do things a man can do create the idea that men are of more importance and more value. Men are often more valued than women due to the masculine traits that society thinks men must carry such as dominance. This raises the expectation that men have to be the head of the house and must carry masculine traits. If men do not fulfill this culture created gender norm, then they are not considered a man, but instead they are considered to be like a woman. Ever notice if you call a man a girl it’s an instant insult? Yeah, that's messed up. Culture has taught everyone that genders have to be a certain way. News flash, gender is fluid.
If one were to act outside of what society views as a norm for their gender, they are likely to be scorn and ridiculed. For example, if I were to continue gaining muscle and lifting weights, I know there is someone who will call me mainly. Muscles are only traits a man can have? Or, is it okay for women to have them as long as it’s not too much? Gender norms shouldn't exist. If you want to do a certain thing or dress a certain way, do it. Just because a female doesn't act more aggressive or show more dominance than a male, that doesn’t mean she is not able to show those traits.
Aggression in men is often blamed on the high levels of testosterone a male may possess. Men and women, even though are seen to possess similar qualities, still aren't expected to be able or be allowed to do certain things. There is always the underlying belief that men are naturally more dominate than females. We cannot make a blanket statement on who a person has to be due to their gender identity. A man is still a man even if he possesses "feminine" features. It’s hard to find a term and a norm that works with everyone, because you can't. every person is different, so why do we categorize humans into two separate gender roles?
If biology was to blame, there would be a definite sex difference that had to appear in every single male and female. There is not though, but society continues to have a narrow outlook on it. Biologically female are thought to be naturally nurturing and naturally depending on men, which creates a sexist view between men and women, due to culture telling us what men can do and what female can do. We are told that men and women can't perform the same tasks, not because they aren't able but because it’s a man’s job. If a women or a man were to step over the gender line people would assume they could not do as well as the assigned sex for that gender role would. It’s pretty sexist to say one gender must say something and be a certain way without an explanation no why. To this day I don't understand the expectations families and society put on their children and peers. There are no explanations on why we must act this way we are simply told we just have to because of the body part we were born with.
I’m sorry, but I refuse to expect someone to open doors for me, pick me up, and showcase huge gestures just because they have a penis. Additionally, I refuse to sit like a lady, pretend to be soft, gentle, weak and codependent because I have a vagina. I will do nice things for nice people, just as I expect nice people to do just as much for me. No one should ever be required and expected to do certain things just because society says that’s what best fits what’s under their clothing. You are no less a man if you want to wear whatever kind clothing. You are no less of a man if you aren’t strong and muscular with a soft voice. I am no less a woman, because I am independent, not sure about kids, and dominant. So please, stop raising this insane expectation. stop telling your children to man up. Stop putting people down because they aren’t normal to you. News flash normal is a made up term for people who don’t like all the possibilities life has to offer. Normal is a term used by the people who think they are better than everyone else and look down upon someone for not being what they are used to. Also, please remember, culture and society is you. We are society, be the change. Raise your children to be a good person, rather than a good gender. If you love pink, wear pink! If you love working out, work out! If you like dresses but some days like baseball T’s, wear them! Do what you want! Call me insane, but I believe who you are and how great of a person you are can't be defined by how close minded people view you.
