When the days splashed with natural sunlight that's when I felt the most happy. My brain was wired to be in tune with nature so every time the weather permitted my mood would change. Foggy days brought foggy hope and rainy days varied,both in sickness and in health my mood would also change, swinging back and swinging forth; I was sea sick but still here I went with the motions of swinging. I was ever changing from the light to the darkness, it's like one side was pulling me and the other side was going the opposite direction stretching out my extremities and testing my core strength, who was I? Strong or weak? My mind would argue constantly with itself while I was sitting in the background screaming for them to just decide who I would be today. Everyone else ran away because I pushed them far and at times I was too disgusted to call out to God even though he knew the disaster I was already. Sometimes I looked at the scars on my arms and felt like I wanted to cut both of my arms off to hide my "crazy" sometimes I felt like that word was super-glued to my skin and I felt like the mess in my room resembled the mess in my life and I wanted the sun to always shine so I could too and I wanted summer's warmth and I wanted the calmness of the hot season breeze. I totally had an epiphany right now, that I was hurting so bad inside but I was not going full blown maniac this time, I felt it inside though chaos swishing to the ventricles in my heart telling me to act cured and well and to do something extraordinary, the sun was shining I needed to as well...but I was fury anyway with just existing I am still amazing, I am breathing even in darkness I am an eagle a queen a ball of hope for my friends a beautiful role model for my daughter a warrior and I will mend my wings I love this disease of borderline personality disorder I hate it. My thoughts are short, they don't run together smoothly like a well thought out painting. I am in drunkenness to the world, but without my borderline mind I am not sober either.
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10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season
The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.
The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.
I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.
1. The Family Traditions
Every family has their own types of traditions whether they realize it or not. In my family, we have a specific day that we set aside for the whole family to get together and make Italian fig cookies called "cuccidatis." It's an old Italian tradition that has been passed throughout the family and we've never once skipped a year.
2. Enough food for an actual army
There is food for days. Full stomachs. Leftovers. SO. MUCH. FOOD. It is hard to fathom how much there is to feed your miniature army-size family.
3. Never enough space
With all those beloved family members, it can get a little too crowded. Not enough seats. Always around someone. It can be crazy.
4. Always Loud & Never Boring
Let's be honest here. The room is probably silent only before guests arrive. Then the volume skyrockets. They'll always be some conversation you can pop into.
5. Parties. Parties. Parties.
Again, if your family is anything like mine, they like to host A LOT. Every week there's some dinner party or get-together that you need to dress up for. And when you're in college you need to make sure you pack enough outfits for it all.
6. Scheduling
With a large group of people, you have to plan accordingly to fit everyone's schedule and make everyone happy. It can be a tiresome chore when you are the one hosting.
7. Travelling
With a large family, there will be someone traveling during the craziest airport season. This time of year, airports are like second homes to some people when they are traveling. And don't even get me started on all the plane rides.
8. The family members you see once a year
Oh, the family members you see once a year... or every blue moon. They just pop up and add more to the list. Although it makes the numbers grow, it's always fun to see old family members and catch up.
9. DRAMA
Throughout this season, you and your family may catch up on the year's events — elections, celebrities, scientific inquiries, who had a baby, who got married, whatever is your jam. However, with all that news, you catch up on the drama of the family. Oh, the family gossip. A large family comes with a larger amount of drama that is sure to never run dry.
10. The questions about life
As a college student, this may be the most dreaded part of family gatherings. The questions of what do you plan to do with your future. Are you dating anyone? Do you want to get married? How's college going? What were your grades? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
AKA, Christmas overload.
To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.
1. You whip out ALL of the Christmas decorations.
2. You can’t hear anyone’s complaints over the Christmas music you’re blasting throughout the house.
3. Christmas shopping becomes a sport, AKA black Friday.
4. You have a hard time picking out a pair of Christmas socks to wear because you have TOO MANY.
5. Your family is probably worried that you’ll burn the house down with all of the holiday-scented candles you’re burning.
6. Egg-nog, peppermint, gingerbread, or an overly sugared something, becomes a staple part of your diet for the next month.
7. You cancel all of your plans because you will be too busy watching ABC family’s 25 Days of Christmas.
8. You smell like a bakery because you’ve been making cookies nonstop.
9. You probably look like jolly old saint Nicholas yourself because you are smiling from ear to ear.
10. You don’t have time for negativity because you are too busy spreading the holiday cheer.
18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18
I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?
For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).
Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?
I'm not talking about passing out drunk at a frat house or anything, because, let's face it, the inner band geek in me will never let that happen. But, there are definitely a few activities I want to explore during my first year of adulthood.
1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater
I was never brave enough to do this while I was 17, so now is the time to take the plunge. In all honesty, I'm a huge scaredy cat, so I've never really seen an R-rated scary movie outside of a movie theater either. But, if I'm going to do it, might as well get the full experience. Hopefully, my screams can drown out the screams on the screen.
2. Buy a Lottery Ticket
For years, I envied my Mom whenever she occasionally purchased lottery tickets at our local grocery store. I wanted to use an old penny to scratch out some pineapple-shaped symbols, I wanted to exchange a piece of paper for ten whole dollars after I spent fifteen on the actual ticket. It's my time to say "This is my lucky day!" only to find out that I won nothing.
3. Vote in an Election
Since I'm an adult, I can legally vote in an election. As a United States citizen, this is something I should take great pride in. I'm excited to finally contribute to our political system because I've been hearing for years that "every vote matters." It's time for my vote to matter, and it's time for my voice to be heard.
4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity
Although I'm in no shape to complete a marathon anytime soon (or a 5k, or even a 1k if I'm completely honest), I know since I'm an adult, I technically can participate in most charity runs. Many times when I was interested in being a part of one, there was an age restriction that kept me cheering on the sidelines. Now, I can really support a cause that interests me, even if it's by being the last person to cross the finish line.
5. Go on a Road Trip
I'm not saying I'm going to travel across the United States with my beat up car anytime soon (because honestly, I don't think she could make the trip). But, I've always wanted to explore a little town in a different state for a day or two. A relaxing drive for a good cafe and maybe a nice museum sounds like an ideal weekend getaway to me.
6. Start a Savings Account
Unfortunately, being eighteen means that I have to consider taking some responsibility for my future. I have to accept the fact that one day, I'll be entirely on my own, and I need to save some money for the future or for any emergency that may occur. Although I'd love to blow all my money away on those lottery tickets and a road trip, I should probably begin to plan a little further ahead.
7. Get a Credit Card
Even though I do need to start saving some money, I am still young and deserve to spend a little bit as well. Of course, the overall goal is to build my credit and set a stable foundation for the future. But hey, if I can grab a cute pair of shoes or a nice sweater along the way, what's the harm in that?
8. Sign up for Spotify Premium
Technically, I don't have to be eighteen to do this, but it is a privilege I never allowed myself. I lived through the advertisements, the song recommendations that I didn't ask for but couldn't get rid of. It's time to take advantage of that student discount and live a little bit. No one is going to stop me from listening to Britney Spear's Toxic eight times in a row on my way to class.
9. Go to a Club
Since I have a late birthday, for months I watched my eighteen year old friends experience the city life in bustling clubs. I watched videos with upbeat music and strobe lights, wishing I could dance the night away with them. Finally, I can embarrass myself all night long if I want to.
10. Start a Meditation Routine
I should probably start actually taking care of my spirituality. This is something that I've always wanted to do, but claimed I did not have enough time when, in reality, I simply didn't prioritize it. With adulthood comes greater responsibility, but also much greater stress. Developing a meditation routine may help me delay those grey hairs that are about to arrive any day now.
11. Go to a Yoga Class
There are so many known benefits to yoga, but I've always been skeptical to try it (mostly because I have the upper body strength of a two-month-old). It's time to face my fears, because that's what adulthood is about: putting yourself out there since you no longer have a parent to hide behind. I'm willing to subject myself to self-embarrassment and possible ridicule by people who can actually balance on one foot, unlike me.
12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One
I've always been too afraid to go to dinner by myself in a public restaurant. I feel uncomfortable being alone, asking for a table for one and having nothing to listen to besides my own thoughts. I think being okay with being alone is something that all adults have to learn. I'm also hesitant to spend money on myself, and I feel like if I'm going out to dinner with a fellow companion, using my own money is justified. I shouldn't be afraid to treat myself to a nice dinner every once in awhile, even if my definition of a "nice dinner" is just a burrito from Chipotle. Hopefully, they'll have another free guacamole day coming up soon.
13. Volunteer for a Charity
At the end of the day, it can't all be about buying myself dinners. I've participated in volunteer work before, but a majority of the opportunities I wanted to pursue had an age requirement. Since I'm eighteen, I can finally give back to my community and contribute to something larger than me. Whether it's working with an animal shelter or helping out in a soup kitchen during the holiday times, I am ready to finally look into the ways in which I can give back.
14. Participate in a Research Study
I live on a college campus, so I constantly see different posters hung on bathroom doors and bulletin boards about participating in research studies. Unfortunately, even though I was interested, I could never take part in any of them because of the age restriction. Of course, it makes sense to have a requirement, since no kid wants to ask their parent for permission to be part of a study where all they do is eat cheese pizza for a week straight to see how the body reacts. Now, no one can stop me from pursuing my dreams (as long as that pizza study is still available).
15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)
I've never really cooked anything before in my life besides eggs (and even those don't usually end up very delicious when you're scraping them off the pan), and I definitely haven't successfully baked anything. Everyone always says that baking is easy because you just have to "follow the recipe," but when I do that, I end up with cookies that come out looking like coal or banana bread that more closely resembles banana soup. I'm determined to bake something and actually do it correctly, even if that means redoing it a hundred times. More burnt cookies for me!
16. Go Skydiving
Although this may seem a little extreme, this is something that I've always wanted to do. Ever since my mom did it for her birthday a few years ago, I've been super intrigued by the idea. Even though my instructor may not make it out with his hearing intact due to my blasting screams, that's a risk I am willing to take.
17. Be Called for Jury Duty
This one isn't really my choice to pursue, but it's still something that comes with being an eighteen year old. Finally, I get the opportunity to be just like so many other adults and complain about the inconvenient timing of jury duty. Maybe I'll get an exciting case, or maybe I won't. Either way, I can officially transition into adulthood by trying to find a way out of it!
18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life
I know that even though I'm legally an adult, I'm still young and I don't need to plan out my entire future. But, it would be beneficial to start considering my options of where I want to go and what I truly want to pursue. I'm open to what the world has to offer, and I want to explore options that I haven't considered before. Maybe I'll fall in love with a certain hobby, maybe I'll realize that I don't like something that I thought I did. Right now, I still have the time to figure it all out.
Being a legal adult comes with its advantages and disadvantages, just as every age does. Let's just hope this next year brings more fun as opposed to more wrinkles.
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
The holiday classics that shaped my life
The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.
1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."
"Santa Claus Is Comin To Town" (1970)
"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."
"The Polar Express" (2004)
"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."
"Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" (1992)
 "Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."
"The Muppet Christmas Carol" (1992)
"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."
"Love Actually" (2003)
"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."
"National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" (1989)
 "'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"
"How The Grinch Stole Christmas" (1966)
I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.
1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?
2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?
3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?
Modern Kitchen
4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?
Soap on Floor
5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?
Scent and flowers
StableDiffusion6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
expecting the unexpected
StableDiffusion7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?
lightning mcqueen Cars Movie
StableDiffusion8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?
alphabet
StableDiffusion9. What color are mirrors?
color of mirrors
StableDiffusion10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?
mind readers
StableDiffusion11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?
similar
StableDiffusion12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?
shirt isn't tucked into your pants
Photo by Vanessa Serpas on Unsplash13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?
quick sand sinking
StableDiffusion14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?
Try to Fail
Photo by Jan Antonin Kolar on Unsplash15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
cinderella s shoe
StableDiffusionTrending Topics
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1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society
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