In the midst of life and the chaos getting lost in a great book can be the perfect escape. For me, as someone who struggles with depression, finding a way to escape from the thoughts you are having and get “away” from reality can be tremendously healing. On the other finding the motivation and energy to search and pick up a book, seems nearly impossible. There will be time when you can't and know that is okay, there are days when all you can do is lay in bed and sometimes that is what we need. During the holidays it can be easy to become overwhelmed by family and the presence of company, that is normal. One way to get your mind off of everything around you is reading. Here are four of my favorite books, ones that have inspired to keep living and search for hope even on the darkest of days. While this list may seem short, these books have left a lasting impression on my life and continue to inspire me.

1.The Memory of Light by Francisco x. Stork

From the moment I read the description on a buzzfeed post I fell in love with the plot along with the characters. I quickly logged onto Amazon and order it along with a few other books. While I was for sure an impulse buy, it turned out to be a great one. I began reading this book in the midst of finals week, although I didn't have a whole lot of time to spare it helped me push through the week. By the time I had finished it the whole book was highlighted and annotated, I might even bring it into my next therapy session as it explains what I feel but can never find the words to place with it.The Memory of Light captures Vicky Cruz’s experience recovering from a suicide attempt during her stay at Lakeview hospital. I love how this book shows her recovery and growth, rather than focusing on the attempt itself. To me her experiences were so raw and accurate, and related back to my own stay in an inpatient hospital. Nothing in this book is hidden, through the friendships she made, the relationship between her father and stepmother, as well as her sister. For me, this book almost painted my life out as I lost too lost my mom and because of that the relationship between my dad has changed and with his girlfriend.

2. If You Feel Too Much by Jamie Tworkowski

Early on in my battle with self harm I came across To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA) accidentally late one night while on 7 Cups Of Tea. I remember seeing a small poster in my school counselor's office with the same name and began to read more into it. Through TWLOHA I've have gained hope I never thought was possible and connected with those who are struggling like me. Later on I discovered Jamie Tworkowski (the founder) had wrote a book, If You Feel Too Much, and I knew I needed to read it. This book put my feelings into words and got me hooked on the TWLOHA campaign. Throughout this book Tworkowski lets others know it is okay to ask for help and allow yourself to feel by sharing his personal stories of struggle.

3. It's Kind Of A Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

One of my friends was talking about this book one morning and recommended we all read it. Not knowing much about it I decided to go ahead and read it. At the time I had just began my freshman year and starting to feel the pain of grief. In this book Craig Gilner struggles with depression and ends up checking himself into an inpatient hospital after he nearly attempted suicide. It describes his time there and the connections he makes throughout his stay. Not only that but it shows how asking for help and reaching out is not a sign of weakness but of strength and hope. I related to Craig's story, as well as the author, Ned Vizzini, who also spent time in an inpatient hospital as an adolescent which makes the story feel real and it shares the emotions and experiences you face while in recovery.

4. Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

For me, Thirteen Reasons Why was the reason I began therapy, connected with my school counselor after a year, and started processing the grief I had been facing. It is truly amazing how everything does happen for a reason and this was an example of that. For English we were assigned to do a book map and research paper over a topic in the book of our choice. Mrs. Kyle, our wonderful media specialist told me about a book dealing with the topic of suicide and thought I could write my paper on that. I ended up reading this book twice, as it captures the pain felt after someone close to you takes their own life. Thirteen Reasons Why left me in tears and a feeling of 'hey I am not alone with these feelings.' While checking out this book landing me back in my school counselors office for suicidal idealization, I recconected with her and began to reveice the help and support I had pushed away for as long as I could. The book tells the story of Hannah Baker, after she took her own life and Clay Jensen receives a package of thirteen tapes that uncovers Hannah's reasons for why she took her own life. This book is about discovering who you are through the experiences you face and teaches you about the pain of loss. I cannot wait for the movie to come out soon!