Many fun and useful things are handed to a Benedictine College freshman during his or her orientation. During my first year, I was given a very nice draw string pack, a variety of comfortable and clearly cost efficient t shirts and, among a few other small treasures, a BC Catalog.

Now I'm no spring chicken, in fact I've been in college for much longer than I had originally hoped (128 credits in one year was my slightly impractical ambition), so the catalog I received was the 2012-2013 edition. I used it sparingly throughout the years, hoping to be able to sell it to Half Price Books after my future graduation, but recently I have enthusiastically delved into it as a way to reminisce (no, I'm not panicking about meeting the school requirements in time to graduate or anything) on my illustrious college career. Upon reaching page two, however, I realized that there are many flaws in this supposedly great literary work.

We'll start with page two's "Table of Contents." First of all, I would hardly call the words this "book" contains "content," or at least quality "content." There are pages upon pages of ramblings on about "payment requirements" and "general admission policies" followed by a large framework of peculiar algorithms designed to somehow guide a student through the overly-regulated set of qualifications and restrictions thrown upon him or her with the often promise of a "good career job."

See you can take Organomettalic Chemistry (Ch 452) if you like, but ONLY if you are willing to submit yourself to the devil-may-care whims of whichever brainwashing robot teaches Inorganic Chemistry (Ch 441) first (I have no clue who teaches this class or any other chem class, so don't come accusing me of slander, lab rats). You can also get your degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, but first you have to complete THREE practicums. But here's the kicker, folks, THE ONLY PRACTICUMS YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE FROM ARE THE CIRCUIT NEWSPAPER AND THE YEARBOOK (no offense here, Libby, you do a fine job of keeping Yearbook together).

The fact of the matter is that this work is nothing more than a collection of bitter, shameful decrees by a totalitarian regime. There is absolutely no plot line, no skilled use of language and no character development. Also, calm down with the italics, BC Catalog authors, we get that your ruthlessly mandated prerequisites are special.