It is sad that we live in a society where people base whether they feel good about themselves and how they look off of how many likes they get on their most recent profile picture or Instagram post. It is an unfortunate thing that ends up happening to most girls. Our modern day pop culture society has imposed this idea of “beauty” and, in turn, has left most young women feeling shameful and insecure about their own bodies. Sure many men have heard the saying, “never call a girl fat,” but plastering advertisements of these “perfect women” has shaped many people’s understanding of what beauty means.

A major reason why many young women have such horrible body image problems is because the expectations are so unrealistic. So, it wouldn’t be that shocking for me to say that I am really self-conscious about my own body image. Whenever people find this out they often say, “Shut up, Rachel, you’re so skinny.”

For various reasons, I’ve had abdominal surgery twice. As you can imagine, within the narrow scope of what falls under the category of beauty, unfortunately, you can be certain that someone with physical scars does not. And it isn’t like a scar from abdominal surgery is one of those things that can just magically disappear. Sure, I can avoid crop tops and hide them under clothes, but this daunting task becomes significantly more difficult when summer rolls around and all that my friends want to do is go tan on the beach. Since it isn’t acceptable for a college age teenager to go around wearing a one piece, I am left feeling terrible and self-conscious every time I am forced to expose my vulnerable side to the world. And, since we live in a world where people are either so nosy, or forget how to be polite, I often find people saying “Oh, my god, what happened? Are you OK?” or even, “Ew, can you please cover that up.”

It is hard not to feel uncomfortable in those types of situations, or find myself not attempting to conceal my stomach with my arms. Even when I am on vacation with my family, I often notice strangers just staring right at my two scars, since they aren’t used to seeing someone of such a young age with forever lasting marks.

I remember waking up, post-surgery, when I was 16 and starting to cry since I had just added another scar to my collection, making me physically different from everyone else. I know that my scars represent medical challenges that I have had to overcome, and without them I wouldn’t be here today. But it is a struggle for me to reach a happy medium where I can feel totally comfortable in my own skin. I know this feeling won’t go away unless people’s high standards of “beauty” disappear. And I know that many other girls also struggle with their own body image identities.