As a young woman growing up in a society dominated by beauty standards, sometimes it’s easy to feel like I have to live up to them. At a young age, girls are fed this ideology that they have to be pretty. They’re told that being lady-like and feminine and tall is what the “ideal” woman looks like. Girls are brainwashed into thinking that the skinnier they are, the more desirable and beautiful they will be. From mannequins to fashion ads to models on the runway, skinny is being broadcasted as a standard for woman to live up to. It’s time to start celebrating women of all shapes and sizes, and make them feel beautiful. It’s time to start challenging and changing beauty standards. Above all, its time to start digging deeper and addressing the psychological damage.

Because it’s about more than just your body.

Ladies, do not let anyone tell you that you have to look a certain way in order to be beautiful. It says more about them than you. It is so easy to feel pressured into wanting to change your appearance. There are so many commercials for gyms, diet regimens and exercise equipment. There are probably even more commercials for makeup and hair products. These industries capitalize on making people feel insecure about themselves. They use physically fit people in gym ads, and super models in makeup ads. As an average young woman, it’s hard not to feel pressured into looking like the people in those commercials. According to the International Journal of Eating Disorders, “Time spent on the Internet was significantly related to internalization of the thin ideal, body surveillance, and drive for thinness.” With social media at our fingertips, it’s a constant reminder seeing ads and suggested products all over the place. At the end of they day when the makeup comes off and the towel is thrown in, we are left with all the things that make us who we are; which is way more important than what the outside looks like. There’s a cliché saying about the stuff on the inside is more important than the outside, but its the most accurate and truthful one out there. There are certain things you can’t change about yourself. It’s those things that we obsess over and go to extremes to try to change it. All sorts of problems ranging from eating disorders to mental illness to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) can arise. These issues are a byproduct of constantly being fed this idea of what a perfect body is supposed to look like. It severely impacts daily life and psychological health. In a study conducted by researchers, they found that “those with BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) and shape/weight preoccupations had significantly higher levels of depression, anxiety, and suicidality than other patients with no body image concerns.”Young adults are more susceptible to developing these disorders because there is overwhelming pressure and constant reminder of what they should look like. Sometimes with people trying to lose weight, they will become obsessed with exercising and count calories excessively. They have extremely unhealthy amounts of anxiety while trying to attain what society is constantly telling them is “perfect.” Often times, young women will be diagnosed with depressive disorders because they feel worthless and not good enough. Self-esteem hits an all time low and the feeling of worthlessness is overwhelmingly powerful, which can lead to self-harm or suicide. The modeling industry turns away girls who are not thin enough or tall enough. The clothing industry’s sizes vary from company to company, which makes it incredibly hard to buy clothes. Each company could have similar items, but the sizes will be different and will often times not fit the same. In my experience, I have trouble buying pants because I am short and petite. Others may have trouble because maybe they are tall, or heavy-set or busty. Whatever the case is, everyone deserves to be happy and confident.

Sometimes genetics can be a factor in determining metabolism and weight. There are people who have a family history of diabetes, obesity or other conditions that are associated with weight gain. There are others who may have a family of fast metabolisms or conditions associated with rapid weight loss. From my experiences, sometimes you have no control over it. There was a point in my life where I was sick with a bacterial infection for a month. It caused me to lose weight and muscle mass. I never fully recovered from the weight loss. Then about 6 months later, I was sick again with a very bad case of tonsillitis. I felt like the sun had decided to hibernate in my throat for a month. I was in the emergency room and doctor’s office and urgent care center all the time. I was barley eating and drinking. Unsurprisingly, I lost more weight, but this time, people began to notice and honestly, it made me uncomfortable. Even before I got sick both times, people would always comment about how thin and beautiful and how lucky I was to be so “tiny.” I guess it was flattering, but then I started to feel like people were praising me for something I had no control over. It made me feel self-conscious. I didn’t purposely lose weight or diet. I didn’t ask to become even thinner. Between being sick those two times, I lost about 10 pounds. Which may not seem like a lot, but for someone who was thin to begin with, it raised some eyebrows. People would ask me if I had an eating disorder or if I was starving myself. I began exercising and going for walks and eating healthier. I felt like I had this weird sort of responsibility to be and to stay skinny.

Throughout my 21 years on this planet, I have come to realize and appreciate the beauty that is surrounding me. There are billions of people on this planet. Each one is different and unique in their own way. Some ladies fit the “ideal” woman description and that is ok. Some do not and that’s ok too. Life is too short to focus on the things that we think make us ugly or not good enough. It’s time that we all learn to love and take pride in ourselves. Instead of spending so much time and energy focusing on the bad, spend it on learning to accept yourself for who you are. It will be a long and challenging road, but let me tell you-it is worth every second. It might take a long time, it may not but it will be one of the most important and life changing experiences you will ever have. Take it day by day and don’t ever give up. I believe in you. You should too.