Beauty in many ways has been set differently throughout the ages. From the beginning to now there has been so many changes in what beauty means that it now is in a little confusion, especially when it comes to how "beautiful" one's body is. Today there is a huge discussion that cannot go unnoticed about beauty in our society, and take a guess at what it is.
Body shaming. It's become a major topic of discussion on major social media sites and has been addressed many times and has started a war on what is "right" and what is "wrong" when it comes to a certain "perfect" body type. People have started arguing and saying hateful things over social media that honestly if people just minded their own business body shaming wouldn't be a thing. My parents always taught me if I don't have anything nice to say to not say anything at all. People need to really take this to heart and realize that talking bad about someone is really evil and horrid and can have a huge, negative life altering impact on others.
A little back story of my body shaming experience. When I was younger (about five or six) I used to be a dancer. I loved to dance. Feeling a rhythm and performing on stage (maybe this is the reason I'm a musician now) was my heart beat. I would go to practice, work my hardest and was determined to be the best. I wanted to be a professional dancer when I grew up. How is this my first experience? My dance instructor was always telling me to lean a little forward all the time even though I knew my back was straight as a steel rod. I asked her one day why she always picked on my posture, and she said it was because my butt was too big to ever dream of being a ballerina… I felt my five or six year old heart crush within a few moments.
My next experience? Middle school. I have always been a little more on the quiet side (college has only changed that a little) and one day I wore shorts to school. I walked into class and one of the boys who I had always had a crush on said in front of the whole class basically that I looked like a vampire because I have pale skin. I ran from the room crying… again I felt my 11-12 year old heart crush within a few moments.
High school senior year. I had been really pleased with prom and my prom dress. My date and my close friends and I went and had pictures done at a gorgeous lake. I posted so many pictures because I was feeling so confident in my weight-loss journey, especially through high school when I lost so much weight. I had a friend come to me in confidence and told me she had heard two girls in her class talking about one of my photos and she had just liked it on Instagram (I did a quote about being a princess). She said those girls liked it and read the quote… and said that princesses aren't fat… again I felt my 18-year-old heart crush within a few moments.
Do any of these situations maybe sound like yours in some sense? That you're too short or tall; you're too fat or skinny; you're too pale or too dark; that you're too much of something? People always seem to have an opinion of other people but they can't take criticism of themselves. I know the heartache many girls and guys go through when they are body shamed. It is incredibly harsh and hurts your life. People these days put so much emphasis on their makeup, clothes, bathing suits, sizes and weight. It's easy to get lost in this lost society where being beautiful is based off of the size of your jeans and how "sexy" you look in a bathing suit. Not all people are created the same; we're just not. That doesn't mean you should body shame and talk down someone that is different from you. In my three examples, I always put "I felt my – heart crush within a few moments." It's true, sticks and stones yes break bones but also words can hurt. They make people feel down or low about themselves, and what does someone get out of it? Satisfaction? I don't know because I've made it a goal in my life, and it is what I was taught by my parents that I should not judge someone's appearance or body shame anyone, but to look at them based off the person they are and the person they are within. In the end, we are all human beings worthy of love, compassion, and respect. The good news is you can overcome body shaming.
The first step to healing from such negative comments and impacts is to forgive the person that has shamed you. That's right, forgive them. It's hard because you feel that they think that you are less because of how you were born and what body God gave you. Guess what? You're not less. You are more than their snide comments and judgment, but forgiving them is the first way to accepting yourself the way you are. The next I just stated: accept yourself the way you are. To ever change your life for the better you have to accept the way the good Lord made you because there is no changing it without becoming fake. I will always have a big booty and wide hips, and I've accepted that. But the good news is I am in control over if I let people hurt my feelings over my body and I can also change myself a little by staying fit, eating well, LOVING MYSELF and just living life to the fullest! And this is the way you should feel about yourself! No matter how you look you are an amazing person who is so beautiful in your own way. Never let someone else put you down.
Guys, please take this letter to heart, because I write it from the heart. Love yourself and love others. Respect yourself by respecting others. Words hurt. Actions hurt. Let us be the generation that instead of tearing others down, we build each other up. End the shaming and the idols of what "perfection" is because we are all beautiful in our own way and no one is perfect.
I may be wrong, I may be right. You may agree with me or not, whatever floats your boat. Just read and please give feedback! I hope to make this a continued discussion based off what YOU (my amazing fabulous readers) want to hear on this subject and more! Love you guys!
-Megs:*
