Are you tired of watching the same Christmas specials every year? The Hallmark Channel has hundreds of cliche Christmas movies to play, TBS shows "A Christmas Story" for 24 straight hours, and Netflix has a plethora of strange new Christmas-themed shows and movies to watch.
What if you had a list of Christmas episodes to watch that didn't suck? As great as it is to watch every Christmas episode on "The Office," you need something new in your life.
Here is my Christmas gift to all of you: A list of "Bob's Burgers" Christmas episodes. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, from the Belcher family.
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins" - Season 3, Episode 9
Bob's Burgers, FOX
In the first Christmas episode, Bob gets the news that his Uncle Ernie has passed away, leaving Bob a storage unit with unknown contents. When the family heads to the unit, they discover a man, named Chet, living inside the storage unit. He says he's actually a mannequin-turned-human after losing his mannequin-wife. Chet decides to help the Belcher family by setting up Christmas displays and modeling in them, leading up to the big reveal on Christmas Eve. Bob believes that Chet has lost his mind, shooting down Chet's hopes of finding his mannequin-wife, causing Chet to destroy the Christmas display. Bob and the kids go on the hunt to find Chet's mannequin-wife to save the Christmas display, in turn, saving their holiday.
"Christmas in the Car" - Season 4, Episode 8
Bob's Burgers, FOX
When Linda buys a Christmas tree the day after Halloween and the tree dies before Christmas, the Belcher's have to take a drive on Christmas Eve to buy a new tree. While driving back, Linda makes them stop to buy a Dutch Baby dessert, against Bob's wishes. As they're getting ready to head back home, the roads are slicked with black ice, causing Bob to have a little car trouble. A truck designed to look like a giant candy cane honks at the Belcher's stalled car, inciting a honking war between Linda and the other driver. Bob becomes paranoid that the other driver is trying to kill them by driving them off the road and forcing them to confront him. The short, angry truck driver hops out, threatening to kick Bob in the crotch for being such a reckless driver. Linda realizes the truck driver is upset about having to work on Christmas, so she gives him her Dutch Baby as an act of Christmas kindness.
"Father of the Bob" - Season 5, Episode 6
Bob's Burgers, FOX
Bob and his father, Big Bob, have serious relationship issues, especially when the restaurant is involved. Bob tells Linda that he can only spend 15 minutes with his father since his father always finds something to nag about. When Linda reminds Bob that they're going to visit his father for Christmas, he remembers the last time he fought with his father: Big Bob had left Bob in charge of his restaurant, and Bob created the "Baby you can chive my car" burger. Big Bob yells at him for creating another crazy burger, so Bob storms out, opening his own restaurant and creating his pun-burgers. Now, years later, Bob recreates the infamous burger while at his father's restaurant for Christmas, further upsetting his father. Meanwhile, the kids rummage through their grandfather's belongings to create the best Christmas presents for their parents. Bob runs next door to the all-male strip club-turned-line-dance-bar to confront his father, who accepts his son's creative energy, thus bringing peace and joy to another Belcher Christmas.
"Nice-Capades" - Season 6, Episode 5
Bob's Burgers, FOX
Louise, Gene, and Tina get annoyed when an older gentleman is hogging the massage chair at the mall, so they decide to be as annoying as possible to get their fair share of massage chair time. When the man says he's returning to work, he reveals himself to be none other than a mall Santa, and tells the kids that they've just been added to the naughty list. Louise decides that they need to win over mall Santa in order to avoid getting coal for Christmas. They visit the mall Santa numerous times, each trip worsening and guaranteeing their names on the naughty list. Louise hatches a plan to finally get on mall Santa's good side, which she dubbed "The Nice-Capades." The Belcher kids sing about the nicest things they did all year, stretching out the truth to make it seem even better, and put on a grand show, complete with both Fischoeder brothers, pageantry, and ice skating. Louise realizes that lying to impress mall Santa is no use, so she comes clean and states that she should be the only one receiving coal for Christmas. On Christmas morning, Louise is surprised to see gifts for her, including a very special pet fish.
"The Last Gingerbread House on the Left" - Season 7, Episode 7
In this very strange Christmas episode, Bob summoned by Mr. Fishoeder and his other wealthy friends to a sort of dinner party, to deliver burgers. Mr. Fishoeder reveals that Bob is now a guest competitor, and every year, he and his friends gather to build gingerbread houses. However, Bob needs to lose the competition, intentionally. If Bob loses the competition, the Belchers won't have to pay rent for the next month. The winner of the competition gets a private cuddle session with an albino polar bear in the zoo. After being berated by Mr. Fishoeder, Bob decides he's going to compete for real and win the whole competition. Meanwhile, Linda, Teddy, and the kids go caroling in Mr. Fishoeder's neighborhood and encounter a house where it's rumored that a murdered lives there. The group carols around the neighborhood, finally encountering the supposed murderer, who joins in on their caroling and makes them hot cocoa. Bob ends up winning the competition so he gives the kids the gift of cuddling the albino polar bear.
"The Matriarch" - Season 8, Episode 6
Bob's Burgers, FOX
Linda has a dream where she throws an extravagant Christmas party and tells Bob that she needs to throw a party at the restaurant that is equally as extravagant, or better. Linda invites people to celebrate, offering free eggnog and burger sliders to entice their guests. After the party has ended, Linda realizes that someone has stolen her Christmas tree- the top piece of a sawed-off Christmas tree, covered in home-made ornaments by the kids. Linda decides to track down the thief, while the kids believe it to be the Bleaken- a sort of Christmas monster that steals gifts. Teddy thinks that someone is going to steal his inflatable Santa Claus ornament, so while he's in the suit, the kids sneak out to find the Bleaken. Linda interrogates the party guests and after no one admits to stealing the tree, she follows the directions from Tina's butt dial call and follows the kids to an underground rave, where she discovers her tree atop a speaker. Linda decides to let the rave-goers keep the tree, as they need the Christmas spirit more than she does.
"Better off Sled" - Season 9, Episode 10
Bob's Burgers, FOX
After record snowfall covers the town, the kids take the rare opportunity to go sledding. Halfway down a slope, Louise spots Logan and the other high school boys, and the kids get pelted with snowballs. Teddy tells Bob about his new snow plow gig and how it's a very big responsibility, but Bob isn't interested. The kids, along with regular-size Rudy recruit the help of Rudy's cousin, high school softball captain, to take down Logan and his friends. The kids can sled again, but not until Logan calls in the best 3-point shooter on the high school basketball team to fire back at Louise and the kids. Teddy is pressured into plowing the hill, per Louise's request, to keep everyone from enjoying the snow slope. It snows twice as much that night, it's as if the snow was never plowed, so the kids go sledding again. The snowball-war begins and ends with every female high school athlete joining the fight against Logan and his friends. Louise pities him and steps in at the last second to save him.
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