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Are You Blonde Ryan Lochte or Brunette Ryan Lochte?

"Jeah", only you can decide.

Sep 02, 2016

Are You Blonde Ryan Lochte or Brunette Ryan Lochte?

The 2016 Rio Olympics were a tremendous success for the USA. With 121 medals total, 46 of them being gold, there is no denying that the USA was a force to be reckoned with this summer Olympics. Aside from the multitude of medals, there was also an abundance of memes formulated thanks to Olympic coverage and the world wide web; such as Michael Phelps Darth Vader, Aly Raisman's anxious parents, and most importantly and unfortunately... blonde (and then green) Ryan Lochte.

Blonde Ryan Lochte faced some extreme backlash after reportedly "over exaggerating" his claims of being robbed at gun point after a night out in Rio with fellow olympic swimmers James Feign, Gunnar Bentz, and Jack Conger. Essentially ruining the end to a great games in Rio and offending an entire country, Lochte had to respond for his actions. In accordance, a freshly dyed Brunette Ryan Lochte took the initiative to explain to Matt Lauer on the Today show that he was publicly sorry and "embarrassed" for the incident. Regardless, Lochte was dropped by three major sponsors, such as Speedo USA, and Brazilian authorities have decided to charge him for filing a false police report, which could potentially earn him a one to six month stint in jail.

Iconic.

I've decided that Blonde Ryan Lochte is Brunette Ryan Lochte's alter-ego, and he is a bad boy.

So, which Ryan Lochte are you?

You are totally Blonde Ryan Lochte if...

1. you are in a frat.

2. You're favorite color is green.

Dude! Every blonde knows that the number one rule is to avoid chlorine at ALL costs.

3. You're not a liar, just an exaggerator...

4. You forgot your "grillz" at home so you have to compensate by bleaching your hair

God bless America...

5. This is your motto= "If you're a man at night you gotta be a man in the morning." WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

6. You are a 12 year old boy.

7. You have one gold medal for swimming in a giant "toilet"

You are Brunette Ryan Lochte if...

1. You act a little closer to what a 32 year old should act like, but mental age still sits at about 17.

2. You take responsibility for your actions... but only because your press rep. made you do it :/

3. You have five gold medals.

4. You cry a little because your lawyer recommended it.

5. You are a potential reality star. Your show "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" lasted one season too long. Damn you E!.

6. Matt Lauer totally thinks you're full of shit.

7. You are endorsed by Pine. Bros (the cough drop company).

They recently released a statement saying, "Just as Pine Bros. is forgiving to your throat, the company asks the public for a little forgiveness for an American swimming legend."

I think all of us have a little bit of blonde and brunette Lochte inside of us, choosing to come out when the time is right... or completely wrong.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Are You Blonde Ryan Lochte or Brunette Ryan Lochte?

"Jeah", only you can decide.

You are totally Blonde Ryan Lochte if...

You are Brunette Ryan Lochte if...

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The craziest, funniest, and most unforgettable college memories are impossible to create without an amazing group of friends.

I'm fine. This is my natural face.

1. Strangers have told you "Smile!" on regular occasions

2. The first thing people say to you is "Are you okay?"

3. Dates have texted you asking if they bored you

4. Or, they tell you they don't want to go out again because you didn't seem interested

5. People question your level of comfort in any given situation

6. Friends have said, "When I first met you, I thought you didn't like me." and were totally serious about it

7. Jokes don't land well because people can't tell if you're serious or not

8. You've been told customer service isn't for you because you never smile

9. In fact, in your yearly review, your manager always writes to smile more under "room for improvement"

10. You hate when people have their cameras out taking candids

11. Even when you smile for a photograph it looks like either A) you're trying too hard or B) you're the Mona Lisa

12. Things can even get a little awkward when you smile

13. You regularly are told "I'm never sure how you feel about things"

14. You've scared strangers on the train/bus/sidewalk with your death glares-- even though they're unintentional and you're not really looking at them

15. Christmas and birthdays are hard because you have to figure out how to look like you're pleased with all your gifts even when you are

16. People frequently tell you you're intimidating

17. Friends stop inviting you to things because they think you don't like going

18. Your parents have RBF (it's definitely genetic. Thanks, Mom).

No matter how old you are.

1. Build a snowman

2. Start a snowball fight

3. Build a fort

4. Binge-watch Netflix

4. Look out the window

5. Grab coffee with a friend

6. Complete school or office work

7. Sleep

8. Read a book

9. Bake cookies

10. Drink hot cocoa

11. Go ice skating

12. Take a Walk

"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

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