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Are You Blonde Ryan Lochte or Brunette Ryan Lochte?

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Sep 02, 2016

Are You Blonde Ryan Lochte or Brunette Ryan Lochte?

The 2016 Rio Olympics were a tremendous success for the USA. With 121 medals total, 46 of them being gold, there is no denying that the USA was a force to be reckoned with this summer Olympics. Aside from the multitude of medals, there was also an abundance of memes formulated thanks to Olympic coverage and the world wide web; such as Michael Phelps Darth Vader, Aly Raisman's anxious parents, and most importantly and unfortunately... blonde (and then green) Ryan Lochte.

Blonde Ryan Lochte faced some extreme backlash after reportedly "over exaggerating" his claims of being robbed at gun point after a night out in Rio with fellow olympic swimmers James Feign, Gunnar Bentz, and Jack Conger. Essentially ruining the end to a great games in Rio and offending an entire country, Lochte had to respond for his actions. In accordance, a freshly dyed Brunette Ryan Lochte took the initiative to explain to Matt Lauer on the Today show that he was publicly sorry and "embarrassed" for the incident. Regardless, Lochte was dropped by three major sponsors, such as Speedo USA, and Brazilian authorities have decided to charge him for filing a false police report, which could potentially earn him a one to six month stint in jail.

Iconic.

I've decided that Blonde Ryan Lochte is Brunette Ryan Lochte's alter-ego, and he is a bad boy.

So, which Ryan Lochte are you?

You are totally Blonde Ryan Lochte if...

1. you are in a frat.

2. You're favorite color is green.

Dude! Every blonde knows that the number one rule is to avoid chlorine at ALL costs.

3. You're not a liar, just an exaggerator...

4. You forgot your "grillz" at home so you have to compensate by bleaching your hair

God bless America...

5. This is your motto= "If you're a man at night you gotta be a man in the morning." WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

6. You are a 12 year old boy.

7. You have one gold medal for swimming in a giant "toilet"

You are Brunette Ryan Lochte if...

1. You act a little closer to what a 32 year old should act like, but mental age still sits at about 17.

2. You take responsibility for your actions... but only because your press rep. made you do it :/

3. You have five gold medals.

4. You cry a little because your lawyer recommended it.

5. You are a potential reality star. Your show "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" lasted one season too long. Damn you E!.

6. Matt Lauer totally thinks you're full of shit.

7. You are endorsed by Pine. Bros (the cough drop company).

They recently released a statement saying, "Just as Pine Bros. is forgiving to your throat, the company asks the public for a little forgiveness for an American swimming legend."

I think all of us have a little bit of blonde and brunette Lochte inside of us, choosing to come out when the time is right... or completely wrong.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

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