Throughout life, we are constantly reminded of a single inevitable truth: We ARE NOT perfect. Whether it be laziness, a bad temperament, or alcohol and drug abuse, we all have demons including that one Achilles' heal that seems to act as the constant road block to our happiness.
What I have learned in recent months is that demons can come in all forms. Yes, they can take the form of a pill you think makes you happy, or a sweet tasting drink that makes you forget your problems for awhile, but they can also take the form of the "friends" who often seem more like bullies than friends, the family members, who although mean well, constantly seem to be judging. And yes, even the boy who said he loved you but who obviously doesn't know the meaning of that word.
One of my greatest personal weaknesses is people. It is people who constantly enter in and out of our lives like a never ending carousel that should be considered a lethal weapon. Some of these people can change our lives in amazing ways, while others attempt to completely suck all of the light and positivity out of our lives in hopes of turning us into a hallow shell of the people we once were. The latter version described can only be described as one word: toxic.
Toxic people do not start off introducing us to their true colors. In the beginning, they have the unique ability to perform a monologue leaving you as a captivated audience member believing every word. The girls in the frilly dresses who would later go on to attempt to crush your spirits do not start off that way. The boy who will later hurt you shows you kindness to gain your trust. But once that trust is gained, a toxic person begins to truly flip the script on you. Through snide remarks, you start to wonder if those "nice girls" are really as nice on the inside as their outsides appear, and you learn that even the people who said they would never hurt you sometimes do.
It is at this pivotal moment when you realize the toxicity of a person in your life that you are at a cross roads. You can choose out of fear and loneliness to continue on the path ahead and leave the toxic person in your life, or you can simply leave and forge a new one. Yes, I said it: LEAVE.
Throughout my life, I have struggled with giving up on people. I constantly remind myself that everyone has demons, and sometimes these demons cause people to hurt those around them. But when you finally make the decision to cut a toxic person out of your life, you should not look at as leaving that person, but rather as choosing yourself.
One great example of toxic relationships is in the movie "Mean Girls." Although often humorous, the movie also depicts many toxic relationships that the main character Cady falls into out of a fear of loneliness and a strong craving for acceptance.
Cady completely changes for the toxic people she surrounds herself with, and she eventually becomes one of them. It is not until the end of the movie when Cady finally makes the decision to choose herself that she regains control of her life.
We must all strive to be the Cady Heron's in our own life. We can complain about the toxicity of others so much that we begin to become just as bad as them, or we can finally make the decision to cut the chord, even if it means being alone.
Although the thought of being alone is scary, it is better to be able to live completely as yourself than around people who will never accept you, because the reality is they most likely don't accept themselves. They were toxic before you, and chances are they will be toxic, but they will be OK after. As long as you are willing to unapologetically live life as yourself, you eventually will be OK, too.
There is another inevitable truth we as humans all share: we all strive (and deserve) to be happy. We come along certain people in our lives who try to take that happiness from us. People who try to make us conform to their warped and negative view of the world. When dealing with a toxic relationship (or any relationship) the most important thing is to never lose yourself. It is never too late to destroy the mean girls, or any other toxic person by becoming your own Cady.
