“I need a little reassurance in humanity here,” I wrote to a professor friend of mine on the evening of November 9th. This statement is obviously nebulous and as big as the sky itself, but it’s nice to say anyway. Pure even. It feels like you’re six again, when you can ask why bad people do bad things and why swearing is rude. I’ve had several conversations like this over the week; comforting, open-ended lines of contact from all over the world, where we’ve allowed ourselves to message the other at any point in time to just go,

“Why? How could this happen? How could this happen?”

I want simplicity and open dialogue for now. For this week , at least. I was up too late watching the 2016 Election results, watching states turn red until it appeared my country had a bleeding heart. I was in a shock by the time the swing states were all too close to call, and tears didn’t hit me until I had curled up in bed. There were a million, million things to consider about my country right then, and they were things I had never considered before. I grew up in the eras of Bush and Clinton, with very liberal parents. There was always an understanding that, even if the adults didn’t like Bush (or Clinton, depending on your household), there was an expectation of what was coming and a traditional flow of American politics.

Now, as the adult, I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know what my country just did.

I voted for Obama in 2012, so this isn’t my first election, but it was for many, many other Millennials. We have been told during these elections, over and over, that we are the voice and change that will sway the vote. We have been told we could change the political spectrum. We mattered, no matter the traditional red and blue.

And still, “How could this happen?”

The days following the election were strange and surreal; everyone was colored a little differently. Everything seemed a little meaner and grayer. There was a real anger that fueled the mood; this disgust, dismay, and hurt. It’s no wonder people have talked so much about taking mental health days. We are all of us divided, furious, and ready to fight at in second. I’ve compared the mood to break-up, moving as we climb through every stage of grief.

After a few days of tea, candles, and Netflix, I’ve finally breathed out and sorted my thoughts to end the still-chaotic election season. Because I’m not angry that Hillary Clinton lost; I’m angry that Donald Trump won. As a women, as an LGBTQ+ community member, and as an American in general, I am livid. There are so many barriers we have broken and steps we have taken as a nation, so the election of a man who has previously insisted that we build a wall to keep out Mexican immigrants- who wanted a ban on Muslims entering our country, and who has been accused of sexual assault on multiple occasions… it feels like a step back, to say the least. It is the ripples of Brexit and French politics hitting our shores, it is the last stand of a very shameful side of our country. No one has won.

But is Trump’s success all that surprising? Many historians and political experts have come out of the woodwork to discuss their predictions, and where they saw the path to president-elect Trump. The past eight years of politics, no matter the progress, have been tumultuous. Between a Congress that has resisted President Obama at every turn and the growing Tea Party movement that protested both his elections, we have watched the slow but sure rise of the angry conservative. The red meat, working class of America, and I have no doubt of their reasons. Their establishment has failed them, ObamaCare has put many in a tight spot, and the rapid change to progressive laws has caused whiplash in previously conservative states. It's a lot. The shoe was bound to drop, and perhaps we need to hit rock bottom before something can really change.

I’m a diehard, tree-hugging, “make America more like Amsterdam” liberal, but I live in the traditionally red Louisiana. I have family and friends and classmates that voted Trump and I have to coexist now. I suspected that no matter who won this election, that would be difficult after an 18th month torrent of political outrage after political outrage. Tensions ran hot and have only gotten worse following November 8th: we have defused and refueled as anger is replaced with genuine fear (I’m also hopeful that this latest shock will perhaps end the overzealous media coverage of election seasons, come 2020. Another article for another day though.) Many liberals are angry, protesting nationwide, highlighting a spike in hate crimes, and using “#notmypresident” on social media. Many conservatives are angry, demanding respect for the president-elect while tossing jeers at “whiny Millennials”, and hoping to move on to Inauguration Day.

Political commentator and comedian, Bill Maher, recently made a point that we cannot just “unfriend 47% of America”, even though I’m sure your Facebook profiles have gone through a purge or two this week. It’s difficult to reach a civil discussion when you feel that every liberal is a freeloading baby killer, or every conservative is a racist gun nut. I've been called a "bleeding heart liberal" before; the term that calls out liberals for over-empathetic behavior for social justice and welfare. We are a bleeding heart country these day, split by a difference of 400,000 votes and our own definitions of welfare, and we still have to coexist after this election. We have to coexist after this presidency ends, and the answer lies far beyond simply swallowing hard and accepting Donald Trump’s newfound political role.

So, this is my plea to really make America great again. Not in the nebulous, campy campaign-slogan way, but in a sense that both parties in our country can recognize each other for their strengths and weaknesses. That we remember that we are the same countrymen, generally with the same needs and interests, and that we can debate like civil human beings when we don’t agree. That our media has continued to feed a “us against them” mindset with Democrats and Republicans alike, so passively glancing Fox News or MSNBC isn’t enough to fully comprehend the full spectrum of our complex system. That we are a big, beautiful, diverse nation that can love deeply, rock historically, and change the world for the better.

Donald Trump may have set a fire for some, but he does not represent actual America or what we represent as a people. And the more we allow this divide to control our political discourse, the more we run the risk of giving power to a Trump presidency and to its mindset. This, I suspect, would be a point where the nightmare-ish scenarios we have spent months discussing- the horrible promises that Trump made, could become a reality. We are better than that.

I found a little reassurance in humanity, I think. I believe in us, even if we have some work to do. We are one people, and our voice is more powerful than any hate. We must find a common goal, reach across the board, and above all, see each other as human.