As I grow to be more successful in my career path, a lot of clients and colleagues inquire about my past interactions amongst my peers and even family, essentially attempting to investigate how I am able to dominate the business world. As it is so hard for many to fathom my recent success, I simply thank God for making me awkward. You see, I was the girl who proudly wore Bermuda shorts with hunter green skater shoes, while chewing my air as a form of self soothing throughout middle school. To then move on to high school and find friends who are just as awkward as I was. Recently, I was reminiscing as many awkward high school encounters as I could, nothing could compare to the moment I asked my best friend to my junior year prom. My plan was simple: write him a letter, have his friend hand it to him in their last class of the day and he'll walk out super surprised--lowkey corny movie type of promposal. The letter is as followed:
Dear Zachary J. Lombardi,
Hi. You officially have a secret stalker. No not really…..I do have a very important question for you though, but I can’t ask it until you know who this is. So here are some clues to guess:
- You do know me….I’m not a complete stranger
- I play soccer
- I literally love fuzzy socks
- I don’t eat bacon because growing up I thought it came from cows…..which now I know, it comes from pigs.
- One of my goals in life is to sell girl scout cookies on wall street
- I wish I could name my first born child tito
- My dream is to marry a prince…..because I’m such a freaking princess
- I go to an all-girls school….and no I’m not a lesbian
- I wish I could be a vineyard vines model
- If I had to describe myself by a fruit I would be a peach, because I super sweet, and I have hairy legs.
You’re probably thinking to yourself 1) who the heck is this 2) what was wrong with them and 3) what could this person possibly want….well I still can’t tell you. But I can tell you that we’re like sisters because we have so much in common:
- You’re single……I’m single….
- I hate math…..you hate math
- We take bad selfies….to the point where people just want to exile us from society….
- You’re dating Robert….I’m dating Robert…..
- I like Italian food….you like Italian food…..
So now that you have a pretty good idea on who this is, so suggest you look up from the letter and take a walk outside to the parking lot because…..
I cringe every time reading this, but what makes it even worse was when he did come outside, so did his entire grade (give or take) and as a result, I panicked and ended up shaking his hand after he said yes. I must say I've come quite a long way since then. So to answer a lot of puzzling minds, I blame my success on my awkwardness. I learned very early on that I was different and because it was understood throughout my developmental ages I've grown confidence far greater than anyone you may know. Word to the wise: know your weakness, embrace it with confidence, and learn to use it to your advantage. You're welcome.
