The first weekend I came home from college, it was awfully bittersweet. I had been excited all week; thinking about seeing my friends, my own bed, my mom’s baking, my cute town in the Fall, pumpkin picking, apple picking, walking around town with leaves falling and coffee in hand, spending all weekend with family and friends. Realistically, this is such a fantasy weekend I had built up in my head, one with extreme irony, in that I never do all of those dream fall activities, even after living in upstate New York for ten years. Why did I think I could swing it all in three days?
Coming home is bizarre; a state of major confusion and temporary paralysis, mixed with a odd level of comfort.
1. Reuniting with your own bed is so confusing.
Reuniting with your bed is such a perk, but at the same time, there is this feeling of being so rushed; I didn’t get to sleep in all weekend. All weekend, I got up early, attempting to fit in everything I had to do into the day.
2. The sudden urge to drive through town shouting, “I’m here everyone, don’t worry!”
Furthermore, getting hit with this shocking revelation that life is in fact able to function without you being in all places at once.
3. The shift from dining hall food to normal civilian food is extremely stressful. There are too many options.
My mom offered me anything I wanted for dinner and I chose spaghetti. Spaghetti. Already so acclimated to mediocre dining hall food and large amounts of coffee by now, I was entirely overwhelmed by the prospect of having her make me anything I wanted, that I froze and asked for spaghetti for dinner, how exciting.
4. The overwhelming obligation to do anything and everything with your time.
5. Knowing you're going through similar things as other college students, while also having had entirely different experiences.
Going to school in the city means having had such different experiences than most of my college friends, or even high-school friends. Due to this, college friends can feel the most comforting because they know what you're going through the best.
6. What clothes are you supposed to bring home?
My entire closet is at school, three hours away, and I couldn’t exactly predict getting invited to a hippy-themed party on Sunday night.
7. Do you like school? How's it going?
Truthfully, I don't know. I'm only in my first semester; I'm stressed, confused, and going through a lot at once, but I'll smile and tell you I love it and am really happy instead of that.
8. The term “home” becomes confusing and relatively disorienting.
Suddenly, while the change in environment feels comforting and welcoming, there are simultaneously many overwhelming feelings of being somewhere foreign and uncomfortable.
