We hear all sorts of swear words every day. How many spat, “Bitch. Slut.” phrases do you hear? How many times do you hear “Hey bitch!” called out? These feminine terms have become increasingly used to condemn women in society for perfectly okay behavior in most cases. In a society that prides itself in equal rights for all, women are called bitches, sluts and whores for doing the same things males do, yet only females are given these demeaning names and held accountable for their actions.

First and foremost, it’s important to note that bitch has evolved immensely in the modern era. It can be a term of endearment, like, “Hey, bitch!” between friends. Moreover, women are also called bossy while males are seen as common authority figures.The term bitch is used towards girls when they are a little over aggressive or assertive in this bossy way, instead of just when they are seriously rude. However, if a girl isn’t aggressive in her opinions, she’s called a goody goody or simply too passive. Many times I feel that women are called bitches just for standing up for what they believe in, and it’s less acceptable for women to be aggressive than men because they’re just being men.

In addition, bitch is used all the time in gossip, seemingly appropriately. “God, she’s such a bitch.” This is probably the most common. I was applying this use in a story of mine, and I was wondering, if I openly use it, am I promoting other uses of this word, too? This was the original meaning of the word. I don’t approve of the fact that there is no male equivalent. Therefore, it seems to me that using this term is belittling other women, no matter how acceptable and unnoticed this part of our culture goes.

Furthermore, the same concept occurs with the terms slut and whore. A teacher once said in a sex ed class, “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” People will call you a slut if you choose to engage in sexual activity, and if you don’t, they’ll call you a prude. Sound familiar? However, if a guy just does what they want to do, you hear a lot less about them getting bullied and pushed around over their sex life because they’re just a guy being a guy. In some cases the more sex a guy has the more praise they receive.

You decide for yourself within your friend group whether or not you enjoy using the term bitch as an endearing one. For some of us it works, for some of us it just doesn’t. Similarly, you decide for yourself whether or not you want to keep using the word and if you feel like it’s condemning to women. But I encourage you to think about all of the meanings, and not to jump to calling someone a bitch just for being a little overly aggressive or assertive and standing up for what they believe in.

A Recent Texting Conversation

Some Random Number: Hey

Me: Who is this

Some Random Number: Someone at Ben’s party. What’s up?

Me: How did you get my number?

Some Random Number: Somehow.

Some Random Number: Hello?

Me: This is really rude. You don’t just get someone’s number without consent.

Some Random Number: Sorry. What up?

Me: Fuck off

Five minutes later

Some Random Number’s Friend: Why you being a bitch to my friend? He didn’t do anything wrong!

Me: Who the heck is this now

Some Random Number’s Friend: Another guy at the party

Me: Tell your friend to quit being such a slimy turtle OK

Some Random Number’s Friend: What the heck does that mean and you’re the one who texted him in the first place

Me: I DID NOT

Some Random Number: What really

Me: And a slimy turtle is someone who tries to stick their dick somewhere it doesn’t belong

In the end, it’s your choice whether or not you listen and repeat those, “bitch, slut, and whore” phrases; in an “equal” society these words only call out women for the offenses of both sexes. It’s important that you decide for yourself about your sex life and personal opinions. Everyone isn’t going to like your choices either way, so it’s best to do what you feel is right and stand up to the bullies with a little bit of that healthy aggression and assertiveness.