It's a very common misconception that bisexual people are unable to be happy in committed, monogamous relationships. People mistakenly think that because someone is bisexual, they are not satisfied unless they are having relations with both sexes whenever they please. But bisexuals are just as able to maintain long-term relationships as people of any other sexualities are.
With that being said, here are ten myth-busting facts about bisexuals that should address any "concerns" you may have about their dating lives:
1. They aren't tempted by the other sex when they're in a relationship
Real talk, we need to put to rest the notion that bisexuals are inherently adulterous and are never satisfied with being in a monogamous relationship. Bisexuals are just as able to commit to their partners as anyone else. Just because they could be with a member of either sex does not mean they have to do so simultaneously. In the end, for every person of every sexuality, it's about hearts, not parts.
2. Their partner knows and accepts that they're bisexual
Seriously…do you actually think that someone would be gung-ho to settle down in a romantic relationship with a partner who doesn't accept their bisexual identity? If a bisexual is dating someone, then that someone is well aware of their boyfriend or girlfriend's sexual orientation and accepts them unconditionally for who they are. That person sees past the implications of their sexuality because they understand that their partner chose them and did so for a reason.
3. They aren't dying to have a threesome
Bisexuals aren't dead-set on having their sex lives revolve around threesomes. Would bisexuals perhaps be more willing to experiment in three-way situations? Yes, that is possible, but that does not mean that they only derive physical pleasure from the presence of both sexes at one time. Not every bisexual enjoys threesomes, nor does every person who enjoys threesomes consider themselves to be bisexual. The bottom line is that everyone is entitled to their own sexual expression; a label or lack thereof does not make room for ignorance and judgment.
4. Bisexuals are not prone to cheating
That's right, not every bisexual person is even slightly interested in cheating on their romantic partner! Bisexuality is not accompanied by the desire to have mindless, casual sex with anyone who's willing. Just because their scope of potential hookups is broadened by their interest in both sexes does not mean that they need to be restrained or else they'll go wild.
5. Even if they're with someone of the opposite gender, they aren't straight
After years of primarily dating girls, Megan has fallen in love with a man with whom she is very happy. She even intends on marrying him, popping out a few kiddos, and living in wedded bliss for the rest of her days! Does that make Megan straight? No, no it does not! Megan just so happened to find a man she wanted to marry before she found a woman she wanted to marry—had fate guided her down that path, she could have found a wife just as easily.
6. Even if they're with someone of the same gender, they aren't gay
A bisexual woman dating another woman is not a lesbian. A bisexual man dating another man is not gay. These individuals are merely bisexuals in same-sex relationships that happen to be working out for them in lieu of any heterosexual relationships they could have had. It doesn't matter how many partners of each sex they've had and they don't need to prove that their inclinations go both ways for you to validate their identity.
7. Bisexuals don't need to have a preference to be in committed relationships
One of the most popular questions aimed at a bisexual person is "which do you prefer, though?" And the askers often expect the respondent to come back with a ratio not unlike a fraction we've seen in our elementary school math textbooks. "Oh, I'm roughly at 60/40…sometimes at a 70/30, depending on the day." Yeah…no. A bisexual does not need to quantify their attraction to either sex to be able to love whomever they choose. And yes, maybe they do prefer one to the other, but honestly, who cares? It's not relevant when they're happy and in love with the partner they're currently dating.
8. They aren't the "horny one" in their relationship
"Your girlfriend's bisexual? She must be into some kinky stuff."
"How can you ever satisfy him in bed if he likes guys, too?"
Stop. No. Not only are you meddling with someone's private life, but you are also typecasting them as sex-crazed and insatiable just because they are attracted to men and women to some degree. Would you shame your straight friend for enjoying sex? No? Then please, give bisexuals the same courtesy and refrain from insulting them for being able to be intimate with either sex.
9. Their bisexuality is (or was) valid ALWAYS (even if they decide a new identity fits them better)Â
Even in the LGBTQ+ community, bisexuals are often written into punch-lines about how queer people just call themselves bisexual en route to fully coming out of the closet. For a lot of LGBTQ+ individuals, bisexuality has served as their "stepping stone" as they worked up the courage to embrace their true identities. While that in itself is okay, what is not okay is trying to convince a proud bisexual person that they'll "figure it out in time" and drift away from that orientation to replace it with another. And even if a bisexual person realizes they are completely gay or pansexual or whatever else, that is not grounds for you to make jokes about their inability to "decide" who they are. Finding the "right" sexual orientation to affiliate with is not always a straightforward process; we need to respect the bisexual identity as legitimate for a lot of people for their whole lives.
10. There isn't a way for a bisexual person to ultimately just "pick one"
A bisexual who has gotten married to a man or woman hasn't "chosen" one sex as their ultimate preference. A bisexual in a long-term relationship with a man or a woman does not see themselves as "picking" one or the other, but instead sees their romance as a deep emotional bond with someone who just so happens to have particular reproductive organs. They can't just "pick one" and be completely happy, otherwise they would be straight or gay. To be bisexual at its core, after all, is to be romantically and physically drawn to both sexes.
Bisexuality still suffers in the media and in terms of social representation, but progress in the right direction is being made, albeit slowly and over long periods of time. I hope you have learned from this article that bisexuality not only exists, but it is also valid and should be just as accepted as any other LGBTQ+ identity.
