If Big Ten Schools Were Alcohol | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

If Big Ten Schools Were Alcohol

You are what you drink, amiright?

1616
If Big Ten Schools Were Alcohol
SI.com

Drinking is part of the college experience. From Thirsty Thursday to fraternity formals, there’s no escaping the fact that alcohol is a part of mainstream university social life. This is especially true in the Big Ten Conference, where football and drinking go hand-in-hand at some of the largest public institutions in the country. Like alcohol, Big Ten schools come in a wide array of diverse options, from strong and prominent (think Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State) to laidback and party-friendly (looking at you, Rutgers). Curious to see what kind of alcohol corresponds to your favorite Big Ten school? Give a look below!

SEE ALSO: If Big Ten Schools Were People You Saw At The Gym

1. Northwestern - Franzia

They act like they’re fancy and above it all, but come on, wine in a box?? They think they deserve the wine glass but all they get is slapped, both on the field and on a frat’s front lawn. That said, the party wouldn’t be the same without it, and the Big Ten wouldn’t be the same without Northwestern.

2. Maryland - National Bohemian

Like the students of UMD (and many other excessively Maryland cliches), the National Bohemian brand is full of local pride, but nobody outside of Maryland really knows you exist.

3. Rutgers - Jagerbomb

They high key go hard (some might say too hard for their own good). Most people forget about them until someone mentions them out of the blue, but once someone mentions them, they’re suddenly the life of the party. Also, their football team plays like they’re constantly hung over, so there’s that.

4. Michigan - Warm Natty Light

You’d have to be cold in both body and soul to appreciate either of these belligerent Midwestern institutions. Michigan and Natty are the ones everyone loves to hate, but give credit where credit is due: they get the job done. We just wish you weren’t so awful.

5. Michigan State - Cold Natty Light

Yeah, it’s Natty, but at least it’s not warm. That should count for something.

6. Nebraska - Everclear

Grain alcohol isn’t exactly corn alcohol, but close enough. Plus, it’s about as strong as you can get. Approach with caution, or they’ll mess you up beyond repair.

7. Ohio State - Four Loko

You either love them or hate them (most people hate them), but if you dare tangle with the beast, you’ll always be beaten.

8. Penn State - Martini & Rossi

Classic, bourgeois, overtly obnoxious and absolutely over-the-top, but we wouldn’t want you any other way.

9. Purdue - Pinot Grigio

Mellow, often overlooked, but generally classy. Won’t mess you up, but hard to outright dislike.

10. Wisconsin - Pabst Blue Ribbon

They act like they’re special, but despite trying to be cool and hip, we know what they are.

11. Indiana - Taaka


Lousy Midwestern staples, these two go hand-in-hand as both universally beloved and universally despised at the same time. If you’re not from Indiana, you might not know what it is; same goes for the Hoosiers. I mean really, what is a Hoosier? Either way, each is a quintessential part of the Big Ten experience, whether you care to admit it or not.

12. Minnesota - Hennessy

Hennessy makes you talk funny. Everybody at Minnesota already talks funny. Coincidence? I think not.

13. Iowa - Miller Lite

Smooth, classic, and always comes in handy in a pinch, but it’s nothing special. Just kinda there in the corn fields, really.

14. Illinois - Champagne

Besides the Champaign pun, going to UI is like buying bottle service: it either costs way too much or you’re not getting what you’re paying for.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

185320
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

11583
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

455490
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

25119
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments