In a little less than a month, my big sister is graduating from college. My big sister is graduating from college. My Big Sister Is Graduating From College. I can’t seem to grasp that no matter how many times I read, write or think that sentence. In less than a month, I will no longer be attending the same school as my one and only sister. We will no longer be working together. I will no longer run into her while walking to one of my classes. She is going to walk across the stage, shake the hands of all the supposedly important people on campus and accept her college diploma and move onto a different phase in her life. She will leave me behind and enter the real world and I have no idea what I’m going to do.

I have only experienced something slightly similar to this when I was in high school when Jenny graduated and went off to college but that was different. I was at home with my parents and I had a bunch of other distractions to keep my mind busy. And I was much younger so I didn’t truly understand the severity of growing up. Now, though, she is turning 23 this year. Twenty-three years old. I can’t believe how much Jenny and I have grown so much. Whenever my family looks at old photos or watches home movies of my sister and I when we were little, my mother always asks me, “Do you even remember being that little?” “Of course Mom, I remember! I remember you being a lot taller too!” But I don’t always remember and I never thought I would get this big.

For as long as I can remember, I have looked up to Jenny. She was taller until my growth spurt in eighth grade, of course she's always been smarter, and she has been the older sibling in every sense. We were playmates, getting lost in our little imaginative world for hours and hours. We played inside with our toys sprawled out on the living room floor or outside in the clubhouse our dad built us. It didn't matter where we were, though, because we always had each other. For the first few years of my life, I had no one else except her—I mean I had cousins but none of them compared to Jenny. I adored my big sister; I wanted to be just like her and I tried to copy her in everything, much to her dismay. She was my very best friend, my role model and it has been incredibly difficult for me to watch her grow up before I do. The day Jenny went into middle school hit me hard. She no longer wanted to play with me. Instead she was more interested in clothes and makeup and whatever pre-teens were into at the time. So instead of being her best friend, I became the “annoying” little sister who wouldn’t leave her alone. I am constantly trying to catch up to her, to where she is in life. I never want her to leave me behind.

Jennifer Lindsey Weiland. My older sibling. My best friend. My glitter obsessed, coffee addicted, dancing maniac of a sister. You are the lighthouse that guides me back when I have lost my way. You are the bucket of water splashed onto my face when I am in need of a reality check. You are the pillar of strength that keeps me standing on my feet. I love you in every way possible and I am so proud of the person you have become. You have grown wonderfully and beautifully and I think you are a really cool gal with remarkable determination. You are going to knock every challenge you face onto its back.

In a little less than a month, you are graduating from college! You are graduating from college and you’re leaving. You are leaving. You are moving on to bigger and better things. I will always be here for you, though. I will be here as someone to fall back on, as a cheerleader when you need some motivation or as whatever you need.

You are a gem among pebbles, Jenny, and don’t ever forget it. I love you a million Swedish fish.