Dear Dad,

First I would like to say that I dropped out of graduate school. I could not take it anymore. To be honest, is there really a shortage of African American women in STEM fields? If there is, do they really need me? Secondly, I am pregnant and unaware of the baby’s father. It all started on a three day week in downtown Atlanta. I had my liquor, particularly Patron, my four inch heels, and skin tight little black dress. My attire and swag was begging for attention and attention I received. Obviously, I received the wrong attention from a bad person and will be expecting a blessing in seven months. Sorry for being late telling you that I am pregnant; I just did not know how you would take it or when would be the best time.

Secondly, I am broke. I quit my job but honestly they fired me. The attempt to arrive to work everyday on time and ready to work became exhausting. When I arrived on time on a Monday, about two weeks ago, my supervisor met me at the door and said do not bother clocking in. She handed me my belongings from my desk, somethings were missing and I will be suing, and told me to evacuate the premises or she would call the cops. Security escorted me to my car. I cannot believe they could be so heartless because I was a damn good employee. There is not an employee in this world who could steal, lie, and cheat the way I did and for them to take so long to let me quit. Another company will be happy to hire me because I am a valuable asset. Also, I am employable. I may have dropped out of graduate school but I have a Bachelors of Science in Physical Chemical Biological Hummus Growth. To obtain a Bachelors of Science in Physical Chemical Biological Hummus Growth is something to be proud of. My degree is equivalent to having an engineering degree. I am sure Apple, Google, and Sony will be calling me very soon.

Lastly, there is a warrant out for my arrest. My mail man delivered me a letter mentioning jury duty. I threw it away and never bothered to read the letter. A month later I get pulled over because the officer said I was speeding, which I was not, and he runs my credit or whatever. Since I did not respond to that jury duty letter, they issued a warrant out for my arrest. Next thing I know he is asking me to step out of my vehicle and he proceeds to arrest me while reading my rights. That day was just a bad day because my car was actually stolen. I was driving my friend’s car who had marijuana hidden under my seat. Thank the gods that the officer did not check my friend’s car that I was driving. After being sent to processing, I was given bail because it had been my first offense. Honestly, I am hard enough to do solid time. I would just prefer to be free because I am seven moths pregnant. Please plan me a surprise baby shower. I would really appreciate it. Also, can I have some cash? I do not want to borrow it because I do not think I can give it back nor do I really want to give it back.

Do you still love me, Dad?

Sincerely,

Your Only Daughter