To My Big,
When the night of big/little reveal finally arrived, I could see the excitement in all my new sisters’ faces. Although most of them knew who would pop out of that box, they were still bouncing off the walls. They already had made so many connections in the couple weeks since that long run on Bid Day.
However, my mind was racing with thoughts of my Big being disappointed that they were stuck with me. I had heard so many stories of the closeness between big and little, but I knew myself and I knew that would not instantaneously be the case. I struggle to hold a conversation with someone that I don’t know well, especially if I want to talk to them.
I had talked to some potential bigs throughout my short time in the sorority of course, but I honestly had no clue who, if anyone, would request me as their little.
My shy, slightly awkward personality stops me from opening up to people. It takes me months, and sometimes years to be comfortable around someone (I knew my current best friend for six years before she says I would really talk to her!) Even with all the gifts and notes that you sent me that week, I knew that the conversation would not just flow easily and the connection would take time.
You never did anything to make me uncomfortable or not like you, but I feared that you might think that I hated you because of my lack of social abilities.
I wanted so badly to be that Little that every Big dreams of, but that is not who I am or who I ever will be. I had hoped that joining a sorority would bring me out of my shell, but in the end, I am who I am, and I am a hard core introvert down to the bone.
At this point, you know that I am not the one to just walk up to you at the commons and start a conversation, but that has nothing to do how I feel about you. If I do not know the majority of the people in the group on a personal level, I will turn the other way. Although I might not text you about lunch plans because of my offish nature, I would never say no because I do want to have a close relationship with you.
It will take a lot of time for me to be able to hold a comfortable conversation with you, but it’s not because of you not being an amazing Big. You have done everything perfectly as my Big. You’ve made me feel like I was wanted in our chapter and taught me the core values of our sisterhood. By watching you in the chapter, I want to be a leader and I want to have as great of an impact as you have.
I would never want anyone else as my Big.
So Big… if you give it a little time, I will jam out to country music in your car and start calling you every week to give you updates on my love life. We will have a lifelong friendship, and I do plan to see you at my wedding! I can’t wait till we can go out and have a fun Friday night downtown or just grab sushi between our classes like it’s no big deal. We will get there!
So stick with me Big, because I don’t build relationships fast, but the relationships I build last lifetimes.
Love always,
Your Introverted Little
