“You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination”-Leviticus 18:22

I ordered a coffee to go

took a shortcut through an alley

where I saw the devil

sitting on a pile of hot coals,

he promised he could help me

find the perfect match on Grindr

if I promised him my soul, I agreed,

in a flash of blue light

the devil paired me with a grizzly bear

who took me to his house in the woods

fed me salmon and fresh red wine.

But the bear was too big

to share a bed with so in the morning

I left and went back to the devil

he promised me a better match

found me a talking horse

who let me ride him through the streets

and bought me fancy lamb curry.

But he liked to ride it bareback

so I staggered back to the devil.

He set me up with a man

with a golden star on his forehead

and pieces of gold would fall

out of his mouth. He bought me

a six-course meal and took me

to his mansion but on the way

to the bathroom, I got lost and found a blue rose bush

I filled my pockets with gold

and plucked the blue rose.

I ran back to the devil the next morning

“There are no matches left,” he said.

I handed him the rose.,

“What about you?” I asked.

He pulled me onto the hot coals

and we fell down into hell.