After getting a bid from my sorority, Pi Beta Phi, I hoped and prayed I would have an amazing Big. I always wanted to be the little who had perfect social media posts of all the stuff my Big did for me before reveal, even though I knew bragging rights weren't everything when it came to having the perfect family.
I was ecstatic to find out on reveal day that my Big was actually a girl I had already become close friends with in my chapter, and she had been keeping it a secret that I was her little. I was welcomed into my family with a smile on my face and a spot for my Big, Grand Big and Grand Grand Big in my heart.
My Big told me she would be going abroad in the spring semester and though I would miss her, I knew this was a great opportunity for her. The spring felt like an eternity without my Big but during that time my Grand Big and I became very close. I was thankful to have such an amazing family to take care of me.
Over the summer, since it turned out that my Big and I are actually from the same town, I hung out with her as much as I could. I started to get hints about the fact that she might leave our sorority. I was worried that I might lose my Big, but I knew that she loved Pi Phi and she would do what she could to stay in it.
Unfortunately it turned out that my Big decided to drop out of my sorority. She told me this at the end of the summer and I was devastated. I didn't even know what to say. I had spent all summer looking forward to being back at school with her in the fall. I was going to take my own little and she was supposed to become a Grand Big. I felt disappointed and hurt, and at first I didn't understand why she would abandon me like this.
Since she left Pi Phi, I haven't seen her as much and I haven't talked to her nearly as much as I once did. Her absence from Pi Phi definitely changed our relationship. At first I was sad about this, and I felt sad that my Big and I had grown so far apart. But now I realize that even after not talking to her for months at a time, after she was absent from my little's initiations and from bid days, chapters, and philanthropy events, the love I have for her as my Big and as a friend will never fade. To me, she is still my sister even if she chooses not to wear our letters.
Even though she is no longer in my sorority and we exchange less words than we once did, the times I shared with her and her absence have helped shape me into the proud Pi Beta Phi sister that I am today. She showed me how to have fun without caring what others think, and how to reach out and become friends with people I never thought I would connect with. Her leaving Pi Beta Phi taught me to be able to move on from the way things once were and create a new start for myself. Perhaps the most important thing she taught me is that not all change is bad. Good things can come out of events we never thought would take place. All of these things reflect the values of being not only a successful sister of Pi Beta Phi, but a successful woman who is ready to take on all the challenges of where life brings me, and for that I am thankful.
