Today, I, a humble C cup person, went bra shopping. Now, this should not have been a large issue. However, it definitely brought light to a few of the issues that my breasts bring in my life. Here are a few struggles that everyone with boobs can relate to.
1. Bras totally BREAKING
Straps? Breakable. Back and hooks? Breakable. The big thick UNDERWIRE? Breakable, also often causing your bra to shank you in the titty. Like, these things were designed to contain my breasts, and they're breaking the minute they have to do their jobs.
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2. Bra sizes? BS!
I only have a C cup, but I have a hell of a time finding a bra that fits since smaller band sizes get rarer as the cup goes up. Since I end up gaining weight in my breasts way before I gain it in the area the band goes around, that means I need a 30 or 32 C. Which is apparently a huge issue given how rough of a time I have FINDING either of those.
3. PAIN
Achy boobs? Check! Achy back? Check! A lot of people with really, really large breasts can even be in so much pain that they want a breast reduction just to feel normal.
4. "Bralettes?" Nah.
People with small breasts can wear bralettes, and honestly, as someone without small breasts, bralettes are a mystery. I can tell you that if I wore a bralette, the girls would be EVERYWHERE. How do they FUNCTION!?
5. Strapless "bras" are fake news and we know it.
GiphySo for those cis men who probably don't know, strapless "bras" come in three main varieties. There are those that have no straps around the shoulder, just one around the back, those that have transparent straps around the shoulder and/or back, and those that don't have straps and stick to the breasts through adhesive.
None of them work.
Bras without straps on the shoulders slide down all the damn day, meaning that my nipples like to peek out from the bra and see the great wide world. Bras with "transparent" straps a) look very weird, and b) are often uncomfortable since they're literally being held up by plastic. And bras that stick through adhesive? They might work if your breasts are small, but I have genuinely had a bra like this pop off my boobs due to the sheer, unbridled strength of my tits. Strapless bras are genuinely "fake news."
6. Push-up bras? In MY size? WHY?!
GiphyNow, I get the purpose of push-up bras for a or b cup people; they can give someone confidence, help people flaunt what they've got. But for people with a C-cup and up? I HAVE breasts. They're ALREADY present. I have too much tit; a mammary calamity, if you will. They do not need to be pushed up. They need to be restrained. And that brings me to...
7. All shirts or camisoles showing your boobs more than intended
Shirts look fine on the mannequin, high-cut on the mannequin, until they encounter a person with Actual Boobs. At that point, they bend to the weight of my melons and decide to show the whole world that I do, in fact, have breasts. I've had camisoles slide down my breasts, v-necks expose so much cleavage, and tank tops turn into titty city.
8. Boob. Sweat.
Until you have had a bra stick to your underboobs because of boob sweat or had little smile lines on your shirt under your breasts from sweat, you don't understand the boob struggle.
9. Unexpected running? Stairs? How about no?
Either of these two things turn my boobs into their very own aerial event. Can we just...not?
But regardless of the things that my breasts do or make harder for me, I can always know I'll have no issue looking fly as hell!
