Justin Bieber’s back, and in a big way.
I was never a huge fan of Justin’s. I’ve downloaded some of his albums and I definitely shamelessly sing his songs in the shower, but his douche-spiral in the last few years made him increasingly unlikeable to me and pretty much to the rest of the free world.
Which is why I think it’s pretty cool now that he’s making a comeback. There are so many celebrities who cave to the pressure of fame, lose control of their lives, make highly publicized bad decisions, and never recover from it. The vast majority of us have no idea what it’s like to live in that world and to have that kind of pressure, so for what it’s worth I hope his desire to be a better person and leave a more positive impact on the world is genuine. I hope that he can set an example for others who want to turn their lives around and I hope he teaches the world that sometimes, it’s better to listen instead of to judge others so quickly.
Now that that’s out of the way, what the f*ck is up with meet and greet prices these days?
Justin, I see you. I get it. You’re huge. Your album is full of bangers and your body is sculpted from marble and your hair is appealing to some people for reasons I can’t fully understand. But come on, you want to charge $2,000 for a selfie with you? Paying $2,000 to take a quick picture next to someone, even you, where I would inevitably look sweaty and crazy-eyed sounds like a recurring nightmare of mine. I can think of tons of better ways to spend that kind of money. Actually, I did think of tons of better ways to spend that money. Here are a few things you can do with $2,000:
This:
This:
This:
Probably buy this whole sweet outfit:
Maybe this? I don’t know:
Of course, there are some people out there who totally would and totally will shell out two grand to go meet Justin. I was a young girl once with thousands of dollars worth of expendable income lying around, I get it. But here’s something I don’t get.
Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas are touring together in 2016, and you and three friends can meet them for TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
That’s right. For a mere $10,000, you and three friends can have a quick meet and greet with one-third of the defunct Jonas Brothers and That Girl On TV Commercials Who’s Always Trying To Sell You Something. You may be thinking, “But Jenna, that’s almost the same price as Justin’s meet and greet if you divide it up! And there’s two of them! That’s TWICE as much meeting and greeting!” And you’re totally onto something there.
But can anyone tell me where to find wealthy Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato superfans who are sitting around with their other wealthy Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato superfan friends who just happen to have $2,500 they’ve been waiting to spend to meet those two? I can’t even picture what that demographic would be. Like are you mean 13-year-old girls whose rich parents all know each other from the posh support group they go to because their daughters browbeat them into buying ridiculous things? Or are you twenty-somethings who won the lottery together and then immediately got hit by a bus of Disney lovers, causing a freak accident where all of your brains were switched out for those of 2008 Camp Rock superfans? Or are you all weird old guys who have a lot of retirement money and really weird ideas on what constitutes as a good time? (I’m praying for the latter, personally)
Regardless of what weird reason you want to go down this dark path, here’s a short list of other things you can do with that money:
Buy this tiny island:
You can literally buy an island for the same price that you can spend ten minutes with Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas. That's right, a whole f*cking island.
And the very best part of it all?
Concert tickets are not included in Nick and Demi’s meet and greet packages.
~~*#stayhumble*~~
Disclaimer: this article is in no way affiliated with Skechers, Acuvue, N.Y.C. New York Color, Neutrogena, UEvolve Fitness, In Color Hair Extensions, toothpaste in general, wearing two socks, plastic bags, shoe horns, 4G LTE, small animal sweaters, or any other product Demi Lovato may have decided to endorse within the last 24 hours.
