What my morning Jesus time looks like…

1. Some reading of whatever book I am reading

2. Journaling and prayer journaling (writing down what others need prayers for, I am working on praying for the people I say I am praying for)

3. Reading the Bible (I have an NIV version and my passion translation, so I go back and forth)

4. Then I do a She Reads Truth devotion each day.

I LOVE my She Reads Truth bible and devotion. My bible is at home since it is a million pounds, but I have my app so I can go deeper into the word each day. I am currently doing the Hosea study, but last month I was doing the "Because He Lives" study and it was mostly about the character of Jesus.

There was one day where the author of the devotion for the day focused on how Jesus was never rushed or felt rushed. She then explained how even when Jesus knew he was going to be betrayed, instead of running to fit in one last miracle or teach one last lesson, he sat down his disciples and washed their feet. Like what!? If it were me, I would have done everything I could to fill up those last moments, but Jesus calmly used his last moments to serve others. The author ended the devotion with, "Give me the strength to fill basins" and I about LOST IT. What prayer and what a desire.

I have been trying to slow down since reading that. Africa time can be difficult. A constant state of rushing just to wait. That is missionary life though and it's hard when I am used to making every moment count. I never sit down and meditate and spend time with the Lord, I am usually doing the list above which is super intentional and rewarding, but do I close my eyes and sit in his presence? Nope, not at all.

That's the way American culture is though ya know? Rushing for the next thing, trying to finish a degree ahead of time, trying to get married as soon as possible, looking up ways to lose 10 pounds in one month because you don't want to wait for results, dreaming of what the next week would look like and forgetting to be present in the now, and we are always wanting more. That has been me during my race experience. I graduated early to "start life," I almost married someone in a different religion to fill the void of being wanted, I gained weight due to the birth control I was taking on the race and it rocked my world (a weird girl thing), I was looking up ways to lose it all within a month not even considering how it could be unhealthy, I am dreaming about going home not realizing how this experience will never be topped so I should be praying for it to slow down, I am in a constant state of "what's next?"

I want to sit with God each day and just be content. I want to not look at my phone time anymore being annoyed if something is taking too long. I want to focus on making today good instead of making tomorrow better. I can't change how other people want to do things, but I can change what is in my own heart with the help of the man upstairs. I don't want to live a rushed lifestyle anymore since every day is not promised. All I want is to fill the basins for those around me.