Waking up to a muted world has its struggles.

I cannot use a regular alarm clock because the sound pierces my ears and I wake up panicking. It is tough when most sounds around you are quiet –– not quiet enough where I would be considered deaf, but just quiet enough to need some help.

So, every morning before I leave, I always make sure I have at least one thing: my hearing aids. If I were to forget them one day, I would be trying to go through my entire day like I do in the morning, with everything in one blurry, undefined, partial mute. Living in a hearing world, it can be hard to blend in depending on where you are.

Sometimes you may want to blend in, sometimes it is better if you don’t.

Having hearing aids is something that most people consider an "invisible disability," but it isn’t something most people think about on a daily basis. By having these things in your ears, people tend to think it means either you are deaf, stupid, both, or you are ignoring everyone.

I would have to say that 95% of the time, I am not ignoring anyone intentionally. And I know with 100% certainty that I am not deaf or dumb.

What being around hearing aids and wearing hearing aids actually means is that you are hearing impaired or hard of hearing, whichever you want to call it, or you work with people who have a hearing impairment, or you could just know someone with a hearing loss.

Every morning I wake up to the vibrating of my alarm clock under my pillow, while the world around me is nit-picky noise, but no full-on sounds. I take a shower, get dressed, blow dry my hair, and then put on the finishing touch; my hearing aids.

A lot of people misunderstand what it means to be hearing impaired.

To be clear, I can hear without them, but I would miss important information since the majority of the population has either high or low-pitched voices. Even though I am one of many, I am one of the few links between two different cultures, and often times people forget it. Like most people, I communicate using verbal speech, but I wear hearing aids, unlike most people in the hearing world.

Having hearing aids has opened the gateway to the beautiful deaf culture and the deaf society, but I know I would never be totally accepted in a world where most of them use sign language because I only took a few sign language classes.

I cannot communicate fluently in sign language, but I can answer basic questions, which would never be sufficient enough. There are times that I feel that I do not belong in the hearing world either, because I need repetition and accommodations in order for me to be successful in the hearing world. It would be safe to say that I am one of the few inhabitants of that world that is in between; I am neither fully hearing nor fully deaf.

How is this an artifact of work?

Without hearing aids, I could not work, and without them every day, I could survive, but with extreme difficulty. I am not ashamed to be hearing impaired, but I am burdened by it occasionally.

I go to school just like everyone else, and I talk to people just like everyone else, but I hear how people talk differently than others. I hear a slightly digital sound to everyone’s voice, not the one hundred percent human voice that everyone else is so used to hearing who isn’t like me.

I struggle to be part of both worlds because I don’t really fit the mold of either. I am sometimes reminded by some people that I am not a “normal person." I used to be reminded five out of seven days a week when I was younger. I would go to school and sometimes people would often tell me to “go back to where I came from” or would call me “four ears," whatever that means.

It was a constant struggle coming from a small town, where stereotypes rule the world.

Every day of every week, everything is a form of work-- working to fit in, working to be successful in school, working to get a job, working to be myself. It is all work.

I once ran into a situation in school where I was shoved into a locker while walking to class. The girl who did this to me told me, “you are a freak." It was probably one of the most astonishing experiences I had growing up, but it didn't stop me from continuing on, and conquering all the obstacles in front of me.

Not all experiences I have had since I was diagnosed with a hearing loss 16 years ago have been bad, but the bad ones are what really shape a person. I grew up in a family where I was treated normally and was never treated as though I had an issue, so I never saw myself as someone with a disability, I just saw myself as a normal kid.

I was just a girl who wore hearing aids, and that was that.

When I was faced with the first instance of bullying, I was shocked that someone thought I was different. It had never occurred to me before that I was different. It was because of that boy in the second grade that called me "freak" and four years that I worked to catch up in my speech, my reading, and my language.

Finally, in the seventh-grade reading levels, I was finally caught up in speech.

I had been four years behind in my speech almost my entire life because I was not given my first pair of hearing aids until I was four, due to misdiagnosis multiple times.

Having an “invisible” disability effects so many people throughout the world, and it is so important to know the difference between extremes and to educate ourselves on the differences in other people’s lives. Many times I feel like the hard work is for nothing since I still don’t talk completely “normal” and I will never be able to fix my hearing.

I have realized, through all the help and obstacles, that it is always worth it to keep moving forward.