In the past, I wasn’t completely beside myself. I understood what was going on in the world around me. I knew how I felt about certain things. I knew how to put one foot in one pants leg and to button them up. However, there was something that was just not right. I believe I allowed myself to live a life that wasn’t destined for me. I can account that for being hard-headed and not doing what the Lord told me to do, but that’s another article entirely. I think I got comfortable being satisfied, but not completely happy. There were more downs then ups and yet, I rolled with it. I knew what I was supposed to do, but I pushed it aside to avoid the pain. After those changes in myself happened, there was so many emotions to deal with. Sadness, relief, happiness, and the most important thing…peace.
Way 1: I’m at peace
Many times I would find myself trying to quiet my mind because my thoughts would be too loud. I believe it happens to the best minds (laugh if you will). Whether it was because of my relationship or my social life, things weren’t looking my way. Now, I find myself in silence. I recall one of my friends/co-worker asking me ‘what was on my mind’ and I replied ‘nothing’, because for the first time in a long time…it was true. I had nothing stressing me out, nothing to make me depressed, or nothing to make me angry. The hurt gradually fades with time. The peace that I begged the Lord to bring me came and I thank him for it every day of my life. I bounced back from what I believe to be broken and unfixable and yet, I’m healed and more determined to go after everything that I desire this year.
Way 2: I’m focused
Bouncing back has propelled me so far into my academic career, social life, and spiritual life. I am studying more and getting ahead in class. I am making new friends and making sure I retain the ones that I currently have. I am making sure I do the best to reach out to all of my family and let them know how much I love them; even though, I don’t see them all of time. I am praying more and find myself thanking the Lord throughout my days. I am giving myself happiness, better health, and a clean start. I have found the deeper value in companionship, especially ones that share the same passions that you do. I have cut back on the way that I used to live and I feel renewed. I can’t say that I wish that I would have made my personal changes sooner because I have learned valuable lessons and God’s timing is always perfect. I just pray that I don’t miss out on any other blessings that the Lord has in store for me.
