We’ve all heard the constant reminder to “love yourself:” it’s included in cards, books, movies, and all sorts of messages. But somehow we forget to apply it to our lives. We all forget that everyone feels insecure. We still feel the need to be this “perfect” person, a kind of person that does not exist. So why do we try so hard and stress ourselves out so much in order to look like a fake Barbie figure when we could automatically love ourselves just the way we are?

Body image has been a reoccurring problem for me. The first time I noticed being uncomfortable with my body and what I looked like was when I was 10 years old. I remember staring at myself in the mirror and feeling weird about what I looked like, and it finally starting to make sense to me why adults dieted and worked out. Ever since then, I’ve been self-conscious about the way I looked.

It wasn’t until high school where it started to become a larger issue. Image is a huge part of high school. I would walk around school and the girls who were considered “popular” were the prettiest, thinnest, and the ones who wore the coolest clothes. I felt like I needed to live up to those expectations. By the end of my high school career, I started to notice more of what I ate. I was more self-conscious about the kind of foods I ate and would push myself too hard when I exercised. I’m not anorexic or bulimic, but I can see how some girls can push themselves so hard that it leads to a serious disease.

Once I got to college, I realized having a good body was a much more difficult task. I pushed myself even more and my eating schedule was not a routine. My goal was to lose weight and not gain weight in college. The “freshmen 15” is still something that haunts me. However, it stresses me out so much that I feel like it is more unhealthy for me mentally even though I am trying to be healthier physically. I’m slowly coming to the realization it is not worth it. Happiness and loving yourself are worth it.

The Barbie image of flawless skin, a thin waist, amazing legs, and a perfect face is not realistic: it is completely fake. Why would anyone want to look so perfect? I’ve learned it is way more fun to embrace your flaws. A girl who has curves, some zits here and there, and doesn’t wear makeup but walks around with contagious confidence is the girl I want to be. I would rather be the girl who loves herself the way she is than the girl who stresses out over food, overdoes her makeup, and exercises way too often in order to gain self confidence.

I’m not saying it is easy because I know for a fact I am still fighting my insecurities. However, one wise person told me to stop looking in the mirror and to start building yourself up every day. It is important to stop beating yourself up over the little things when you could be happier loving the person you are. It breaks my heart to see some people hating who they are when I don’t even see their flaws.

Feeling comfortable is your own skin is difficult, but it can be done. You are the only “you” on this planet. Start by reminding yourself every day what you love most about yourself. Use sticky notes or paste little reminders in your planner. Even loving others can help build you up. You’ll notice that, in the meantime, your confidence will flourish.

So beat that, Barbie. The prettiest girls in the world don’t have to be plastic: they can be real, happy, and more beautiful than ever before.