A few weeks ago, my mom went to Mexico and left my dad home alone. During this time, my dad FaceTimed me five nights in a row. Maybe it was because he was lonely or maybe he was worried I didn’t have anyone to talk to since my mom would be incommunicado. Whatever, it was it was weird at first. In a typical week, I exchange a few emails and text messages my dad, and maybe, if we’re both not too busy, we’ll manage to FaceTime over the weekend. I hadn’t talked to him this much in several months.
I realized a few things after I FaceTimed him for 30 minutes, five days in a row:
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The more you talk to someone the easier it gets.
As college students, finding time or even remembering to talk to our parents can be difficult. But it’s kind of like exercising; once you start it’s hard to stop (or so I’ve heard). The more you talk, the more you will become involved in each other’s lives. Before you know it, you’ll be so wrapped up in the neighborhood holiday decoration scandal, you’ll have to call your mom every night to hear about it.
When you keep your parents up to date on the goings-ons of your life, they can be more supportive. If you tell your mom about your finals week schedule, you know you’ll get an encouraging text before each of your tests or maybe even a care package. The more you talk to them they more they will realize and appreciate how hard you work.
Parents will care about things that no one else will.
We’ve all been at that point when we think our friends are getting sick of hearing about our personal problems or triumphs. The wonderful thing about parents is that they’re so invested in your life, they’ll listen to almost anything. They want to hear the details of every new friend you’ve made or even the complaints about your professors. No detail is too small to tell your parent especially if you feel like you’re lacking in conversation topics.
They can actually be helpful at times.
As hard as it is to admit that your parents have “been there, done that”, they really have. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, they usually have some valuable insight to add. Keep in mind your parents were your age once, and they remember the challenges that come with it.
An important tool in communicating with your parents is to remember they’re always on your side in the end. When you screw up they won’t hesitate to tell you, but they probably won’t blame you or judge you either. Sometimes they can be accusatory, but it’s only because they know you can do better. If you remember they are always your biggest supporters, talking to them will get easier.
We’re not children anymore.
For the last 20 years of my life, my parents have mostly placed the conversational focus on me. Now that I’m an adult, it’s time to step up and communicate like one. Asking your parents how their days went goes a long way. Find out more about their interests, their personal or career goals, and their life experiences and you’ll see you have a lot more to talk about than you thought.
Finding common ground is easier than you think.
Everyone knows there are a few subjects you should never broach with your parents because they are guaranteed to lead to an argument. Lesser known however, are the subjects you both enjoy discussing that won't cause any tension. Find these topics and hold on to them. The more pleasant your interaction with your parents is, the easier and more effective your communication will become.
As with any relationship, communication between you and your parents is key. Parents are extremely important figures in our lives especially during college. It's important to be able to have regular, meaningful, and positive conversations with the people who have spend half their lives raising us.
