Dear Younger Me,

I know you're cuddled in bed, reading a novel that makes you curl your toes and makes your heart skip a beat. Your eyes wander to the ceiling, glittering at thoughts of your happy ending. Your Prince Charming, Mr. Right- someone who'll save you from whatever plight your adolescent mind makes up. You sigh at every romantic gesture you read about, like any age-old hopeless romantic. The words you read are summarized in the line "He said, "______(insert something perfect)." You put the pages down and turn on the TV and the feelings surround you again, but even more beautiful than you can imagine.

A warm glow as two hands hold each other. The screen reflects your features as you observe two characters "meant to be" look at each other with that look. The camera closes up, their eyes bright with devotion. You think, "I hope someone looks at me like that." They share a kiss- their lips look soft, pursed into the sweetest of smiles. An effortless act of kindness. A statement that shows he knows his lover like the back of his palm. A glance when she isn't looking. Turn the television off and in go your headphones, singing the world out of reality.

Love songs to "Baby-" that's you. That he can't live without you, he can't love without you, and can't be with anyone but you. Diary entries in the lives of people you don't even know, their intimacies dancing in your ears about their toothbrushes left in the sink, their heart-stopping nights out, and their chivalrous way of opening the door. Artists can't help but talk about love whether through words, images, or sounds. The thrill, comfort, devotion, and every butterfly-filled, topsy-turvy feeling of being in love is overwhelming. How can they not make art of it?

You're older now. You experienced that young love elders talk about with a glint in their eye. Then you lost it for awhile. But you found it again and it's even more beautiful than you remembered. The butterflies, the topsy-turvy, the curl-your-toes, and the gestures are all there- and more. More than you realized you needed, because bugs in your gut won't get you through the everyday. You know that no one can save you but yourself, and no one will ever know you like your 100%. No one can take care of you or fight for you like you'll ever fight for who you are and what you are and why you are. There isn't a knight in shining armor or Mr. Save the Day. You are alone. But your hand is not.

Your palm grasps the hand of your best friend. You didn't need Mr. Right, but Mr. Be Silly With Me, Mr. I'll Stand Next to You, Mr. I'll Be There For You. The movies, pictures, and songs you hear about love are the feelings that get you through amoment, but not through those hard times. The light-hearted feelings won't completely disappear, but with time, they become the chocolate ice cream on your "cheat days." You don't need those butterflies when you barely have a grip on reality. You don't need a billion flowers when you're crying at 2AM after having fought with your parents. Maybe you just need a milkshake or a quick call to say "You'll be okay."

You never needed romance. You just needed a best friend. And we found him.

Best,

Ashley

P.S. Happy anniversary.