Yik Yak is the new social media app sweeping our campus. It's basically an anonymous version of Twitter, so you're the only one who knows when your post is funny, but also the only one who knows when it's not. There is a constant struggle of whether to Tweet something funny that 3 of your friends will see, or Yak it anonymously for a 100 likes and a boost in your Yakarma.

Here is a list of some of my favorite "Yaks" from the week...

• “Choose a major you love, find a job, and you’ll never work a day in your life, because that field isn’t hiring.”  
• “Umich all the shots you don’t take.”  
• “Sorority recruitment taught me how to sympathize with how guys feel being brutally rejected by girls.” 
• “If a GDI is a geed, are GSIs geese.”
• “Got distracted by the people on the Diag and walked over the M…fml."
• “Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that’s your parent’s job.” 
• “She texted me ‘your adorable’ so I responded ‘No you’re adorable’, now she thinks I like her…girl can’t grammar.”  
• “I saw some construction workers talking and laughing today. I know what they’re building: friendship.” 
• “My English professor wore a suit jacket jeans and flip flops, so I bought a suit jacket jeans and flip flops.”  
• “AA needs AA.”  
• “My anaconda don’t want none if you ain’t got a trust fund.”  
• “How much does a sorority girl weigh? A monogram.”  
• “Just pre-gamed with 5 shots. The game=sitting on my bed eating cheesy bread.” 
•  “I wish these walls weren’t so thin. Not because of sex but because these pretzels are so damn crunchy.”   
• “Those girls that run by super fast and you’re just like 'you go girl!' as you walk to Ben & Jerry’s.”   
• “How many MSU freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it’s a sophomore level class.”
• "Whenever I go home I'm always 10 minutes late to everything."
• "Just had to tell my teacher I have to miss class to pay my public urination ticket."
• "Just scrolling Y^2 in A^2."
• "Parents asking about my classes over breakfast and I'm freaking out over which frat house I left my wallet at..."
• "Freshman Tip: If you use OJ as your chaser then you technically had breakfast."
• "You never lose a tailgate."
• "A mom in the Diag: 'my daughter took me to a dive bar called Scorekeepers last night, boy was that eye-opening."
• "When your dad hands you a 100 and says 'buy better liquor' as he is leaving."
• "These sorority girls rush better than our football team."
• "Frat boy is dying of alcohol poisoning, paramedic comes in to save him. Frat boy: 'hold on who do u know here?'"
• "The weekend to weekday ratio is ridiculous."
• "Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza."
• "That feeling when you're crushing Chipotle so fast and then you feel yourself swallow a piece of tin foil."
• "I'm in college because I love partying, hanging out with friends, and not knowing what I want to do when I grow up."
• "According to this Mac n Cheese box I'm a family of four."
• "I've got 99 problems and they're all webwork due at midnight."
• "I don't always have time to study, but when I do, I don't."
• "About to pop lock and drop all my classes."
• "When you just wanna give em the nod when passing in the Diag but they take out one earphone."
• "I sometimes lay in bed at night, wondering how my Neopets are doing."
• "Give a man a fish; feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish; feed him for the rest of his life."
• "If you wear your ID around your neck there's 2 cards you won't be losing."