1. Jess: "Believe it or not, this is not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size."

2. Schmidt:' I love mango chutney... really any type of chutney."

(This works best if you pronounce chutney as chut-en-ney.)

3. Winston: "'Eye of the Tiger' ended the Cold War." Jess: "That's not even a little bit true."

4. Schmidt: "Can someone please get my towel? It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape."

5. Nick: "I want to kill you because I respect you. I think I finally understand hunting!"

6. Schmidt: "It's a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere."

7. Schmidt: "You like me? You like my personality?" CeCe: "I was surprised, too."

8. Winston: "I'm worried about Schmidt. He's a Jew in the desert. I don't want him to wander."

9. Nick: "Can I get an alcohol?"

10. Schmidt: "Pine has no place in this loft! It's the wood of poor people and outhouses!"

11. Nick: "No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage."

12. Schmidt: "Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They're like the people people version of pleated pants."

13. Winston: "If I were off my rocker, would I take my weekly selfie with my cat?"

14. Schmidt: "I'm as mad as a dad in traffic!"

15. Jess: "Look! It's a baby bird! Oh, it's a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional."