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15 Of The Most Hilarious Quotes From 'New Girl'

"Sponges make me feel exhilarated."

Jessica Prowell

Aug 06, 2018

Lindenwood University

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15 Of The Most Hilarious Quotes From 'New Girl'

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1. Jess: "Believe it or not, this is not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size."

2. Schmidt:' I love mango chutney... really any type of chutney."

Giphy

(This works best if you pronounce chutney as chut-en-ney.)

3. Winston: "'Eye of the Tiger' ended the Cold War." Jess: "That's not even a little bit true."

4. Schmidt: "Can someone please get my towel? It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape."

5. Nick: "I want to kill you because I respect you. I think I finally understand hunting!"

6. Schmidt: "It's a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere."

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7. Schmidt: "You like me? You like my personality?" CeCe: "I was surprised, too."

8. Winston: "I'm worried about Schmidt. He's a Jew in the desert. I don't want him to wander."

9. Nick: "Can I get an alcohol?"

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10. Schmidt: "Pine has no place in this loft! It's the wood of poor people and outhouses!"

11. Nick: "No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage."

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12. Schmidt: "Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They're like the people people version of pleated pants."

13. Winston: "If I were off my rocker, would I take my weekly selfie with my cat?"

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14. Schmidt: "I'm as mad as a dad in traffic!"

15. Jess: "Look! It's a baby bird! Oh, it's a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional."

Giphy

Whether you love the show or hate it, you must admit that it's insanely quotable.

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15 Of The Most Hilarious Quotes From 'New Girl'

"Sponges make me feel exhilarated."

In This Article:

1. Jess: "Believe it or not, this is not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size."

2. Schmidt:' I love mango chutney... really any type of chutney."

3. Winston: "'Eye of the Tiger' ended the Cold War." Jess: "That's not even a little bit true."

4. Schmidt: "Can someone please get my towel? It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape."

5. Nick: "I want to kill you because I respect you. I think I finally understand hunting!"

6. Schmidt: "It's a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere."

7. Schmidt: "You like me? You like my personality?" CeCe: "I was surprised, too."

8. Winston: "I'm worried about Schmidt. He's a Jew in the desert. I don't want him to wander."

9. Nick: "Can I get an alcohol?"

10. Schmidt: "Pine has no place in this loft! It's the wood of poor people and outhouses!"

11. Nick: "No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage."

12. Schmidt: "Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They're like the people people version of pleated pants."

13. Winston: "If I were off my rocker, would I take my weekly selfie with my cat?"

14. Schmidt: "I'm as mad as a dad in traffic!"

15. Jess: "Look! It's a baby bird! Oh, it's a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional."

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!