Best One Liners From 'The Office' | The Odyssey Online
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Best One Liners From 'The Office'

An office is a place where dreams come true.

Meghan Brower
Nov 30, 2015
University of Delaware
69.2k
Best One Liners From 'The Office'
Word Press

Dunder Mifflin Paper Company was home to some of the best characters in television history, and even though the series has ended, we can still binge-watch our favorite episodes (thank you Netflix Gods). Known for their witty and dry humor, the writers of "The Office" have provided fans with quotable one-liners appropriate for all situations.

"Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me!" - Michael Scott

"If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about?" - Creed Bratton

"'You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take' - Wayne Gretzky." - Michael Scott

"Abraham Lincoln once said that, 'If you're a racist I will attack you with the North.'" - Michael Scott

"You all took a life here today. The life of the party." - Michael Scott

"Suddenly, she's not yo ho no mo'." - Michael Scott

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs." - Kevin Malone

"The Taliban is the worst… great heroin though." - Creed Bratton

"Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?!" - Michael Scott

"Where are the turtles?!" - Michael Scott

"If I don't have some cake soon, I might die." - Stanley Hudson

"Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." - Michael Scott

"Who is Justice Beaver?" - Dwight Schrute

"I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott

"There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague." - Dwight Schrute

"Dwight, you ignorant slut!" - Michael Scott

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." - Michael Scott

"The worst thing about prison was… the dementors!" - Michael Scott

"I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious." - Michael Scott

"I don't care what they say about me... I just want to eat." - Pam Beesley

"I am Beyoncé always." - Michael Scott

"I want to be wined, dined, and sixty-nined." - Kevin Malone

"Why are you the way that you are?" - Michael Scott

"I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail." - Michael Scott

"And you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser!" - Michael Scott

"Well just tell him to call me ASAP as possible." - Michael Scott

"I hate looking at your face, I wanna smash it." - Michael Scott

"Just pretend we're talking until the cops leave." - Creed Bratton

"I declare bankruptcy!" - Michael Scott

"I am better than you have ever been or ever will be." - Dwight Schrute

"Sometimes when I start a sentence, I don't even know where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way." - Michael Scott

"Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." - Andy Bernard

"You don't know me; you've just seen my penis." - Michael Scott

"Apart from hitting her with my car, I have been so kind to that woman." - Michael Scott

And of course the always classic…

"That's what she said." - Michael Scott

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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