Dear Time,
Life has a funny way of taking its course don't you think? It’s
almost like we’re living just to die. One minute everything could be
going great, but then the next it seems like it couldn't get any worse. What
makes it even more funny is that it's all based on the choices we make in our
lifetime. We make a choice to get out of bed in the morning or we make a choice
to eat breakfast. The one thing that all these choices have in common though is
that they are all based on one universal creation called time. You control how long we take to finish a project; you determine how long we wait for something; it
determines when we're born and when we die. We hear people say, "If I only
I had more time...", or "There's not enough time in the day..." In
some way, we always wish we had more time. That we’d have more options, or that
we could see our life before we lived it. Except, life, choices, and you don’t
work like that. We are born at a specific time and that's when our lives begin
then our life continues based on the choices we make with the what you give us we're given.
As life moves so do you. We make more and more choices as you progresse and some choices, we get so hurt to the point we want life to
stop. These thing that are broken can never be repaired (or so it may seem). It
kills us and the people around us. We hope that someone, one day, will come and
prove us wrong or try to help fix it. Until then it becomes masked and maybe even
hidden. Cigarettes because they make you calm; alcohol because it makes you
forget for a few minutes all the hurt and the pain your choices have caused
you; drugs because they make you happy and for once you aren’t in a deep never
ending depression; sex because it makes you feel loved for just a moment
because so many people have abandoned you; or to sleep and never wake up because
you stop feeling the pain.
Remember how I said it seems like we’re living just to die and
how some people are just waiting for someone to come help fix their brokenness?
Well I'm hoping you'll teach others when you meet a broken person, you will be tested. This type of
person doesn’t want you to remind them how hard your trying to keep them in
your life because they see it. They see it in your actions, the way you talk to
them and when you’re there for them; they don’t want you to make them talk
about the things that have happened to them because I guarantee they remember it
every time they wake up in the morning. They remember every moment that went
wrong in their life; only to realize it was out of their control. This person
doesn’t need to be accused of not trying because again I promise you they are
fighting every instinct in their body that is telling them to run because they
think they’ll get hurt again. But most importantly, they don’t want you to tell
them they need to be fixed because I guarantee they already know they have
problems; they don’t want you to keep reminding them of the hurt they’ve caused
you or their pain that has now become your pain because they already know. They
can see it in your eyes because they’ve learned the only way to tell if someone
is telling the truth is through their eyes. They can see hurt because they
recognized it in their own eyes; it’s the one thing they never wanted to happen
to anyone especially the people they care the most about. It’ll seem like they
don’t care or they don’t notice what someone is doing for them, but believe me
they do. They remember every time you got them food, every time you’ve been
able to calm them down whether it be due to family or school, the good times
you brought them and they learn to find their happiness in you. Except then you’ll
ask, “Well then why do they keep doing this to the person that cares so much
about them?” I promise it’s because their scared of it. Based on how their life
has been from the time they were born, they won’t believe they deserve to be
loved so they’ll accept the people who treat them like they’re nothing. It’s
kinda like when someone calls a girl pretty; you can tell her everyday how
beautiful she is, but the minute someone tells her she’s not as pretty, she’ll
cling to that instead of being called beautiful every day. If or when you come
across this type of person, be patient with them. Your buttons will be pushed,
even buttons you didn’t even know you had; try not to accuse them of anything
especially of not trying to do something because trust me they are it’ll just
take more time. Try to understand, they’ve been hurt more than the average
person has, so don’t think they’re trying to make your problems seem like
nothing compared to theirs; that’s the only way they know how to show
everything will be okay. They will be the people who will understand the concept-
Time doesn’t stop and life goes on. They will know this like the back of their
hand, so try not to think they don’t care about you or don’t love you because
they do, believe me. But with this type of person comes probably one of the
biggest issues anyone will have a problem with: trust issues. They won’t be as
trusting or they flat out won’t trust you. They’ll be picky about who they let
get close to them, and who they’ll let see them at their most vulnerable. They’ll
worry about literally everything. No, it’s not because they think you’re doing
something they don’t want you to do, it’s because they don’t want anything to
happen to you. If you’ll pay attention, you’ll see this type of person is the
most protective person you’ll meet. They’ll constantly ask you if you’re okay
or what you’re doing because they don’t want anything to happen to you. You
must understand they don’t know what it’s like to have someone care this much
about them so they’ll do everything they can to keep you around, only to
realize it might be pushing you away. Please believe me when I say, this isn’t
the case. They love you more than you’ll ever understand, they just don’t know
how to show it because pain is the only thing they know.
I hope you teach them the answer to: “how does this person understand
what love is?” Well they see it in the way someone who truly cares about
them. They know that it’s more than just an emotion they feel for someone. They’ve
seen it destroy the strongest of people and build or rebuild the weak. They’ve seen
it cause stress and worry but at the same time bring joy and happiness.
Basically, what I guess I’m trying to say after writing all of
that is life, you, and choices effect people more than they understand. What you give to us should be treasured and never wasted, but at the same
time, I believe there is no such thing as a waste of you. That choices we make, we
may feel doesn’t influence people or may not make a difference, but they do.
When we choose to be kind to someone, or we choose to love them, we’re making
their life better. It’s a life and we only get one chance to live it One more thing: I hope to show a specific person that I do love them though you. So
thanks for listening to me.
Love,
A Victim of your Swift Coming and Going
