We all know That 70s Show (I'm willing to bet you've watched it on (Netflix), and we all know that Red Forman is the most underrated character on the show. He is the wittiest character and has some of the best lines on the show, but he's not a part of the "gang" so he doesn't get the recognition he deserves. So I took it upon myself to get his legacy out there. I have compiled a list of my personal favorite Red quotes for your enjoyment!
First, this beauty on washing up for dinner!
"Eric, didn't I tell you to wash up for dinner. I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass."
I bet it would be difficult to hear things if your head was up your ass.
Second, a reminder of what we really mean to our parents.
"Eric: Hey, Dad. Can I talk to you for a sec? Do you think that Hyde can stay for dinner?
Red: Eric, again? I can't afford to feed your friend. I can't even afford to feed you, but the law requires me to!"
Put your kids in line with this one.
When I asked my dad for help he said the same thing ...
"What are you going to put on your resume, 'Dumbass'?"
Does that go under experience or skills?
I can't really explain this one
"Responsible people don't go around getting their nipples twisted."
Changing all my social media bios to this.
Underrated advice.
"When my time comes I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass."
Why hasn't this been done before?
What runs through my mind at every restaurant ...
"What the hell kind of restaurant is this? You got eight people singing happy birthday, and no one can bring my wife a damn salad."
I need a Red in my life.
When you talk to elderly relatives about politics.
"If the US government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say, "Thank You. And God Bless America."
He likes the word ass apparently.
And then when they ask for your opinion ...
"Eric: I believe that everyone's political opinion is valid, and worth hearing.
Red: Well that's perfect Eric. Use that line when you run for Miss America."
When your dad is the sassiest family member ...
Solid bed time line.
"Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass."
Parenting Advice from Red Forman should be a book. Why isn't it already a book?
If parents were honest..
"[to Eric] Happy Birthday. You know, the lawn's not gonna cut itself."
This is the reality of being an adult at home.
Thank you, Red Forman, for all the laughs you have brought me over the years. I aspire to be as sarcastic and clever as you.