A lot of people have these grand ideas for how they want their relationship to work. A perfect date with dinner and a movie. A first kiss on a bench under the stars. A proposal to trump all others. I assure you, as an introverted romantic, I’ve given a fair share of my time to similar thoughts (although my ideas aren’t quite the same as these). I’ve imagined beautiful moments, heart-touching scenarios, and hope-giving settings. My mind wanders, and ideas pop-up in the blend of emotions, resulting in some truly amazing thoughts…

But these grand fantasies, even if they come true, are not the greatest part of a relationship.

No, happiness is in the moments that aren’t planned. It’s saying the same joke at the same time. It’s getting a message from them when you need it most. It’s knowing the movie is over but not wanting to move. It’s the little things that count the most, that you’ll remember the longest.

Many of us love the idea of these perfect little scenes, but they mean almost nothing. Sure, they can make our heart race and put us at peace, but not without that special someone in the first place. The best memories are of the little things that remind us why we have that special person to begin with. When you understand how their mind works better than your own, when get little glimpses into their emotions, when you feel connected in a way you don’t understand, that is a moment that you’ll remember and cherish more than any other.

Grand scenes can be nice. They can take your breath away and give it back at the same time. They can make us feel more alive than anything else ever could, but without the small details that remind us where we belong, these mean absolutely nothing. So before you get too attached to a fantasy, take a step back, and remember that it’s the person that matters, not the setting.