As I’m sitting down to type this, it’s 9:17 on a Wednesday night. Today was a perfectly average one, nothing to set it apart from any other. But one thought kept rolling through my mind over and over: “Collin leaves in the morning.”

AIT already. It doesn’t feel like this should be here. How could it be a whole school year and then some since you came home from basic? How could I let so much time slip through my fingers? It’s enough to sink my chest.

I don’t know when this will find you, but I have so much I want to say.

I knew from the very start that this would be your future. The day I met you, actually, I turned to you and offered to write you during basic even though that was at least a year away. You said you’d take me up on the offer, and then we disappeared from each other’s lives for a few months.

That’s the thing about us: we drift in and out of each other’s lives only to catch up whenever it suits us. This would drive most people insane (then again, you’ve driven me insane from the start), but when we get back into contact, it’s like no time has passed. That’s how you encourage me to look at these three months away: just a break in contact. But there’s a lot for me to say as you start AIT that I wouldn’t have to say if we simply weren’t talking.

First of all: I miss you. As long as you’re gone, that’s valid, whether it’s been two days or six weeks. Second of all, I’m proud of you. I know that you’ve dreamed of this since you were a little kid, and you’ve worked toward it ever since. That’s a level of determination that I’ve never seen before, and I’ll always admire. Three, I’m behind you no matter where this brings you, no matter how little or much I’m allowed to know. Like I said, I’ve known that your life as a soldier would be a part of my life from the day that I met you, and I chose to stick around. Now that I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. Whether I agree with your decisions or not, when you look behind you, know that there will always be at least one person standing there, smiling. After all, where would I be without my caffeine and nicotine addict?

A few days after you left, I went down to Oakland Beach with a friend. I laughed to myself thinking back on the day you and I ventured there, and you insisted on holding out your hands to help me across rocks or over short walls. I’d thought you were such a goof that day because I’m not that clumsy. Well, all those months later, I managed to hurt my knee trying to get over one of those short walls. I couldn’t help laughing because I guess you were right.

Our stupid adventures are certainly some of my favorites. They’re always interesting, seeing that we usually start off with nothing more than a last-second phone call and a general direction of which way to go. I can’t wait to have more of them once you’re home, but I think I’m most excited to just give you a hug.

Take care of yourself, and don’t do anything too stupid out there, Reckless. I can’t wait to see you when you come home and hear your stories.

Oh, and happy birthday. May there be much more full of good health and happiness ahead of you.