15 years.

15 years we were side by side.

15 years we did everything together.

15 years of laughs.

15 years of memories.

15 years of having you as my best friend.

15 years, all demolished in less than the amount of time you'll spend reading this blog post.

Losing your best friend sucks a lot more than Disney Channel made it out to be. It's this messy, brutal, gut wrenching tearing apart of two interwoven people. The person who you knew best, ripping themselves away from you over a Snapchat message.

You sit there, having read a message that picked apart every iota or your being, and you think to yourself "how is this happening, this isn't us, this can't happen to me"

But it has. Your lifelong best friend is now just another person.

But wait. That's a lie.

This is YOUR person. The person you wanted as your Best Man/Maid of Honor at your wedding. The person who you planned to live down the street from and raise your kids together. The person who has seen you at your lowest and picked you back up and watched you flourish.

but this was your person.

You have to move on. You have to pick yourself back up and realize that you are okay. You will lay awake at night wondering what's so wrong with you that one of the most important people in you life decided the best option was to pack a bag and leave forever. You'll question your loyalty, compassion and ability to be a good friend. You'll question if all that time spent with that person was wasted.

It's 12:40AM. I am lying awake reliving this shattered friendship and all I can think is "why."

But regardless of why you did it, or why it was best for you. I hope you're doing good.

I really do.