I really don't need a best friend. Why? I have had and lost more best friends than the fingers I have on my hand. Now, not that I'm going to start shaming the whole concept of having one. By all means, if you have a best friend from as long as you can remember, then that is awesome. Although here is just my perspective on the concept of what happens during potential bestie break up's and why sometimes a bunch of good friends is better.

We can all agree that in the process of growing up, none of us are the same of who we were a year ago or longer. Some of us are not the same person after a few months. Everyday experiences, thoughts, and interactions, influence and shape the person we are today. Perhaps you grew out of that "phase" from high school since coming to college, and your best friend from high school still stayed in the same place (or maybe that's reversed in certain situations and persons). Suddenly arguments start, attitudes change, and department begins. Maybe you found new friends that gave you a new perspective on life, and you go and explore that. Personally, I found that the best friends that I have had tend to get used to the kind, warm, happy, and open person I am. If the friend wasn't conscious of their actions, they started to take advantage/became careless and turned into a sloppy mess. A mess where I became drained from trying my best to keep it all together and support them, and they began to just get used to who I am as a person while in the process I start to get dragged down. My advice: You cannot know what will happen in the next chapter if you are too busy reading the last chapter. Consciousness of yourself, is step one. Maybe you're the friend who is being dragged down, or maybe you are the friend that is causing the dragging.

Another reason why your best friend may not be the best; maybe you and that person didn't have a fight, or didn't grow apart. However time has become in between you two (or more if you have bestfriend's that are like the groupie type like Friends Tv show). Maybe growing up or responsibilities has taken control of your social life; College classes, and/or work, maybe you have a family to support, Etc. It may be hard emotionally to process this change. Perhaps you both just stop speaking to one another entirely. Or you both argue on how you two don't make time for each other, but then get jealous when you see them posting a picture spending time with someone else...meanwhile that picture is posted while you are at work (you can't spend time with them anyway). Sounds crazy right? Well I guarantee everyone has felt/thought/done this atleast once in their lifetime.

The meaning and definition of a best friend is pretty vague (according to google): Someone who is close to you. Now, that does not always mean that the person who is close to you, is the best person to be around with. My definition of a best friend; Is when two persons are in harmony with one another, and are always willing to be open and honest to each other about themselves and whatever else even when they cannot admit to anyone else. Someone you can go to, knowing they will not judge you, they will only work with you to help you see what you cannot see at the moment. As well as being understanding to one another. Of Course this requires both parts of the friendship and both persons to spend time reflecting on themselves to make sure they are the best person they can be. Not only for their bestfriend, but for themselves. So the thought I want you all reading to ponder on a little bit is: Are you the best person that you can be at this moment right now? If not, what can you do to improve who you are and develop a better understanding of yourself.

Maybe it's not about that best friend being the best for you, but how you can be the best friend for yourself first. Which brings me back to me thesis, Why a bunch of good friends are better? Well, what is different from a good friend and a best friend? Well depending on which definition of best friend you would like to use and what you consider to be a good friend. Someone who is a good friend all depends on your perspective on that person. Maybe the good friend you are thinking of is a good person overall from what you know and see from them; Therefore you consider them a good friend because they always are good when you are there or not (this also goes into the consciousness of what traits/habits/morals you consider to be good). Sometimes good friend can be someone who just has the same perspective and interests as you and when you speak to them its nothing but compliance.

However you comprehend it, at the end of the day, that good friend is not the same as someone who is your bestfriend right? Someone who is a good friend you tend to observe/learn/and reflect after being around them and spending some time apart (usually processes subconsciously). Someone who is your bestfriend, you have so much trust in the person and friendship that there is not much reflecting because there is that zone of comfort where everything they say or do is accepted to a point. My view: I have bestfriends and good friends. The two bestfriends I do have, are in the standing of what a good friend means to me as well. After 3-5 years of staying in contact with them (not as much as we use to of course), after arguments like the ones I have listed above and after a lot of time self reflecting and analyzing all my experiences. I have to say that maybe these two best friends are the best good friends because even with arguments, even with growing up, even with time... forgiveness, loyalty, and love from their end and mine has kept us together. My other good friends? I still make sure I send them a hey how are you text. Maybe its once a week or twice a month. It doesn't matter even if the texts or convo's start because you are the only one starting them. If the convo starts and keeps going and there is a response; It means the other end is receiving/accepting and enjoying your company. In order to be remembered you have to also be someone who remembers others and show it.

As we grow up, meet new people, the number of good friends/friends/acquaintances grow. It's all about who you want to keep in contact with, who influences you to be a better person? Are these friends you want to surround yourself with? More importantly, are you making yourself a better person in the process of all these experiences/friendships?