Picture your best friend. Most people call to mind either a collage of faces or a singular, distinct and easily conjured image. For me, going to college has transformed the way my friendships look, and placed me more into the first category than the second. Now I know what it is to have best friends who I only see every six months as well as best friends who I have only known for six weeks. I have learned what it is to make a fast friendship that is as strong as a relationship with a lifelong best friend. However, what is it that makes my new friendships feel so similar as my enduring friendships?
A simple remark that my friend made the other day made me wonder what the common thread between my varied friendships was. She claimed that she rates her friendships by who makes her laugh the most. After that, I began to ask around, what is it that people love so much about a best friend that makes them seem better than any of their other friends? One person said that the people she calls her greatest friends are the people that want to be around her the most. Another person calls his best friends the people who he has the most entertaining conversations with. One person even said that a best friend is simply someone who you cannot help but smile when you see them. A common response was also that a best friend is the person who you go to consistently to confide in. Although each of my friendships is, in reality, vastly different from the rest, the connection between them is that they all make me feel the same way. My greatest and strongest relationships are marked by my feeling of being at home in every conversation and interaction.
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In analyzing these responses together, I came to realize the link between them: everyone's best friend is someone who makes them feel happy and secure. This of course makes total sense, as no one wants to be sad and uncomfortable. Therefore, the reality of how a best friend makes you feel is universally consistent. Yet, peoples' answers were different because of the way that they phrased their answer.
This variation intrigued me. Why did everyone have a subtly different version of the same answer? I came to realize that the minutiae of difference between each response reflected what each person who I asked wanted out of the world: entertainment, knowledge, a sense of security, acceptance. It fascinated me that the reasoning behind why someone gives their best friend that label could display their greatest desire. A best friend is actually a manifestation of one's subconscious dreams and goals. This made me realize that our friends aren't just people who we spend time with. Our friends are our most prized possessions; they are a family that we build around ourselves to create a world that makes us feel like we are living the most incredible life that wee could. We need them because they make us see the world in the way that makes us feel successful and whole.
