I figured college was going to give me a run for my money. I didn't know how or why, but it's college, so you prepare for a nonexistent sleep cycle and hours at the library. I was never skeptical about my time at school and needing to adjust just because I knew I picked a school where I felt was already home.
Two semesters have been fast to the point I blinked and it was already over. What feels like the shortest amount of time didn't lack in enough being done, if anything, it feels like more has happened my first year of college than it has my life (but yes, that's a stretch).
Doors have opened and opportunities have been openly welcomed as I walk through new doors and test my abilities. I have been able to partake in things that I genuinely love to do that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. Each new obstacle I get to take on gives me a little something to learn from, which is why I now pass this on to you, the reader, hopefully to shed light on what college has to offer.
Parents, this is for you too!
Here are a few tips I've learned along the way:
1. Don't buy too many school supplies
This isn't high school anymore, yay!! I, for some reason, thought going to Ocean State Job Lots and buying their school supplies aisles was going to be beneficial. Now at the end of the year, I have not opened one notebook or had to use a folder. I even bought a stapler and a 3-hole puncher. EVERYTHING IS DIGITAL. You use your computers in classes (it's pretty much mandatory in all classes to have a computer), and the notes you take will most likely be on Google Docs, Word, or some other note taking program. But this saves money so look at it as a good thing.
2. Make friends prior to move-in
Facebook is perfect for this. Odds are your school will create a "Class of 20__" page that you can be a part of. DO IT! And post about yourself in it! It's such an awesome way to meet other students in the same boat as you. The conversations that come from this are great. I met both my roommates this way and I LOVE them. So if you see a page like this, join it and get to talking!
3. Parents: Don't call every single day!
I definitely do not mean not to talk to your kid, but calling every day asking about the "college life" and what friends they've met is a bit much. The part of adjusting and adapting to a new atmosphere with new people and having to make an entire LIFE within a new campus is stressful- you should remember when you did that! It helped not talking to family so much and rather stay busy making friends and exploring. I know it's hard having kids leave home, but they won't ever not have their phones on them, so no worries.
4. Leave your door open
By the first night of college, I felt like I could name every person in my building. Our whole floor created a group chat (that we still use and it's the end of the second semester), and friendships just blossomed. Leaving the door open creates flow for conversation and getting to know everyone. But, I may add, do not spend a lot of time in your room. The only time I'm ever actually in my room is when I sleep or need to seclude myself and do homework- but even then I prefer the library. There's so much to do and it feels like a waste to spend it in your room. Plus mine looks out to the ocean so naturally, that is where I'd rather be.
5. Walk with your head up
It seems like second nature to throw in headphones and walk to class with your head down and in the zone, I'm guilty of it. But I also understand and value the importance of saying hi to strangers and sharing smiles with people I don't know. It's not the scary thing people make it out to be! If I have learned one thing from my first year in school it's that you really never know what someone else is going through, everyone has a story, and everyone carries that in their backpack. So, saying hi, complementing them, or just smiling can make the biggest difference. Big campus or not, adopting that little act of kindness and spreading it will make the campus a happier place. I do it every day at least once. That is my challenge to you. Remember this article when you pass by someone you don't know, don't resort to that awkward eye contact!
6. Appreciate the connections you make
Parting from your long-time best friends from high school is hard, but going into school with a mindset that those friends are better than the ones you are going to make is too narrow-minded. The people you meet on campus have the power to change your life. They will show you who you are, who you want to be, and who to surround yourselves with. College is no longer being around people you have known your whole life, but a place where you have the ability to branch out and get to know others with goals and ambitions and help others reach theirs as well. It's a beautiful thing, really, to have these people in your life who will grow and blossom with you along intersecting journeys.
7. The PARTIES
I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You'll go to parties and have a good time, maybe get a little too funky for your own good. But you need to know your limit if this is something you plan on doing. And in all seriousness, having a group of friends with you is a must. Never go out alone and always have someone to walk back with when it's dark. Your campus should have shuttles or campus safety police officers that will be happy to escort you home if needed. Your safety is a number one priority among all. NEVER do anything you aren't comfortable in doing, and NEVER go anywhere with someone you don't know. Always, always, always have a buddy. Saying "no" is always an option.
8. GET OUT of your comfort zone!
You are in a new place within thousands of new faces who are willing and ready to get to know you. Your canvas is clean my friend, and it is up to you to paint it exactly how you want it. The opportunities are endless and at college, you will make the best friendships from going out and involving yourself. If I hadn't joined clubs on my campus I'd only talk to the people I saw in class. I've never considered myself so lucky half the time when I'm able to go spend time with people who matter to me, and meet others through that connection. It is like a building block- you meet one person, and others keep coming on top and soon you have friend groups you would never want to replace. I see plenty of people struggle with putting themselves out there in new places at first, but once they get into it and let others get to know them, it's like they've always belonged. I am only in my dorm room to sleep
9. Don't take college for granted
I know how exciting it is to feel completely free and rid of being watched at all times. You don't have curfews or many chores so it's easy to want to adapt to a new lifestyle and try things out. I have seen it already, though, the people who dive too deep into that assumption that they feel like they can get away with it all. That will lead you nowhere but out of the college, and I've seen it happen too many times with students just in two semesters. Nobody is going to take the fun away from college, or urge you not to go out, but there are lines that cannot be crossed. Being a respectable student to yourself and to others is still key. Don't go punching holes in walls and thinking you are inferior. But say it does happen, and you do have to face the repercussions. You'll know never to do it again. What's really important as a student on campus is if you see anyone portraying inappropriate behavior, it's also your duty to step in and make it a goal to go find help for them.
Have so much fun, truly. College is going to be a whirlwind but I know you are going to adjust perfectly and love it. And say you don't, you are very welcome to change your mind and transfer schools. It's YOUR education my friend, go get it somewhere that makes you happy.
