I’ve been going through a kind of personal struggle recently and I was asking a friend for advice which is a pretty rational thing to do. I never would have expected such great advice however. I started off by basically stating my problem which is when I was at college I felt lonely and like I didn’t have a lot of friends/ my friends didn’t genuinely like me. He basically did what any good person would do and called me out on my bull crap. He said he didn’t believe that for a second because I was a likeable person with a lot of friends and then asked what the real problem was. I didn’t really know to be honest I just felt sorta stuck and he brought it back to personal growth and said maybe that was part of the problem. Then he asked me what my values were and I said you know obviously; family and friends. Then he said, “Okay, what else”? and I was stumped. He told me no wonder I feel stuck and am having a hard time growing as a person I don’t even know what I value as a person. Which thinking about it seems ridiculous because as an 18 year old girl I obviously am very put together and have everything figured out. So he gave me some great advice, to think of 50 things I value. They could be anything or anyone but there had to be 50 things. So after a few days of working on it, here is my list.

• My family and friends; They don’t get separate categories because they are basically the same thing to me

• Music; Music is a good release of energy and often puts my feelings into words that I otherwise wouldn’t know how to explain or express
• Dishwashers; I hate doing the dishes…it’s gross.
• Ice-cream; Always makes me feel better and it’s fun to make and I’m good at making it
• Dogs; Humans don’t deserve dogs, enough said.
• Cats; Cats don’t deserve humans; they are rotten little princesses and I love them.
• My sister; she is the reason I need to be my best. I will show her she can do anything if she puts her mind to it.
• Tyson Honey Breasted Chicken Nuggets; Honestly one of the only things I eat, don’t care if its healthy or not because I do what I want.
• Andrew Belonga; My best friend who taught me that I can do what I want as long as I passion the heck out of it.
• Keanu Reeves; I loved the matrix as a kid and now I just love him and everything he does.
• Hamilton: The Broadway Musical; I listen to the CD’s every day in the car and sing along with them and it just makes me happy except when I think about how I missed my shot to see it live when I was offered the chance.
• Batman; I like him because he is so human. He isn’t goody two-shoes Captain America or Superman; he has real issues and is complex. That’s why he isn’t even a real superhero he’s an anti-hero.
• Mr. Freeze; (From the Gotham Universe) He is a villain so he can “raise funds” to support research and try to help his wife. Is it the right way to go about it, no of course not but he is at least doing it for a greater purpose.
• Photography; It’s a more recent hobby that I’ve found I’m pretty decent at and I like how you can capture a lot of feelings in one image just by using different lightings and textures.
• Hair Dye; I love expressing myself through my hair it helps build my confidence
• Baby Groot; because how can you not be inspired by a little baby tree dancing to “One more chance” by the Jackson 5
• Babies; I’m a stereotypical girl who loves babies because they are filled with only love and innocence. They’re also better when they’re fat because they are extra cuddly and there is more of them to love.
• Mouse Hole; Knowing the mouse might one day leave its hole and get the cheese…fills you with determination. ~Undertale
• Sarcasm; This is the base to which my humor stands on, without it my life would be solely filled with bad dad jokes and puns
• Books; For being such great listeners and friends and making me feel like I’m not alone but rather, the opposite.
• Pre-Calculus; This is where I met my best friend and I don’t know where I would be without them
• State Fair; A place where no one judges you for how much would you eat and thank god for Ferris wheels
• Dresses; Because I strongly dislike to wear pants and this is an okay way to not wear pants in public
• Talk to text; I’m not the best speller
• Warm Milk; helps me get to sleep some nights which is very nice
• Paint; I enjoy painting on my walls in my room to make it seem more interesting but dislike painting on paper, don’t really understand why that’s just how it is.
• Pillows; My cuddle buddies and protectors at night.
• The Sun; The reason that we are alive and thrive based on photosynthesis. I feel like the sun is underrated but until we figure out how to become mermaids who can somehow thrive through chemosynthesis, thanks Mr. Sun.
• Architects; They don’t go into the business for money but passion which I respect and admire, plus they create some pretty cool stuff.
• Dave; I miss you.
• Forest Fires; They destroy everything in their path but that destruction allows a blank slate of newly fertilized soil for new life to grow.
• The Oceans; I love the water and floating with the waves, its entrancing and relaxing
• Running; Something I do very well and feels liberating
• Brita Filter Water Bottles; Because I’m too paranoid to just drink water like a normal person
• Violins; an instrument that captures feelings very well, from whimsy to love to pain
• Airplanes; I hate driving long distances because it makes me sick so thanks Wright Brothers!
• Dancing; I can’t dance but I like to and wish I could
• The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman; A moving short story about mental illness
• Hercules; By far perfect but his determination and hard work paid off
• Car Windows; Because something about having your hair flow in the wind and the radio up just makes you smile (Disclaimer: If you have extremely long hair this is a different story)
• Boxes; I’m a hoarder but its okay because all of my supposed “junk” is organized… so it’s organized hoarding
• The Mental Hospital; One of the best weeks of my life because I was surrounded by people just like me and I felt like for the first time in my life I wasn’t alone in how I was feeling.
• Imagination; I don’t know what I would do without my imagination. My imagination and innovative nature have gotten me out of A LOT of trouble and also helped improve some situations. Including paint being scratched off of my wall so I painted a tree over it.
• Toasters; Sandwiches just taste better when they are toasted.
• Netflix/Hulu; for fueling my binge craze without fail
• Cute/Funny Animal Videos; the only good thing to come from Facebook considering it’s normally full of negativity and politics
• Aux; because having to switch CD’s while driving especially when half of them are on the ground; it is a skill (and its VERY dangerous)
• Sewing Kit/ My old Babysitter; My old babysitter for teaching my how to sew and sewing kits for saving a many of my clothes in desperate times.
• Snow; Growing up in Upstate New York, something I saw a lot of. The snow as fun and beautiful and when I was still living there I used to go lay down in the snow at night and just look at the sky and breathe in the crisp air.
• Cutco; How I paid for college and more importantly my second family. It is more than a job, we really are a family and I would do anything for them and they would do anything for me. How I’ve been able to grow into the person I am today and why I continue to grow to be the best version of myself.

I challenge everyone to figure out 50 things they value, warning it is harder than it looks.